Found On Back of Grocery List

ice-out-cool-cube

This is the kind of ice cube she’s talking about.

Have you ever gone to the grocery store and found a previous shopper’s abandoned or lost shopping list?  I have to admit that I’ve picked one up from the floor more than once–it’s an interesting look into the lives of strangers.  It happened today that I found a list in the cart at our local Aldi store.  On one side of the 4X6″ note card torn in half, on sort of a diagonal, and written in pencil, was a pretty standard list–milk, eggs, cheese, etc.  On the back side, in what I like to call “catholic school cursive,” rendered perfectly, in red ink, is the following list.

I’m deadly curious about the torn away parts, but a little mystery is good, right?

Spanking, Get Tied Up, Give Direction, Ice Cubes
#1 Lick your partner’s ears.
#2 Spank, squeeze and pinch your partner’s butt.
#3 Place an eye cube (sic) on the girl’s navel until it melts. The girl can’t use her hands to place it. The guy can only use his lips to keep the cube in place *it’s a lot harder to ice cube in place when it starts to melt or the girl starts to feel cold*.
#4 Pass a candy to your partner using just the lips / unwrap…
lips.  Smarties?
#5 Kiss each other for a whole minute.
#6 Give your boyfriend a lap dance.
#7 One partner lies down. The other…
the laying partner’s body including…
#8 Unhook your girlfriend’s bra…
#9 Lift your girlfriend’s shirt up…
just your teeth.
#10 Stroke yo…
#11 Eat a mel…
#12 Give y…
#13 F…

drink-kool-aid

You may not want to accidentally substitute this kind of Ice Cube. Or….

About JunkChuck

Native, Militant Westsylvanian (the first last best place), laborer, gardener, and literary hobbyist (if by literary you mean "hack"). I've had a bunch of different blogs, probably four, due to a recurring compulsion to start over. This incarnation owes to a desire to dredge up the best entries of the worst little book of hand-scrawled poems I could ever dream of writing, salvageable excerpts from fiction both in progress and long-abandoned. and a smattering of whatever the hell seems to fit at any particular moment. At first blush, I was here just to focus on old, terrible verse, but I reserve the right to include...anything. Maybe everything, certainly my love of pulp novels growing garlic, the Pittsburgh Steelers and howling at the moon--both figuratively and, on rare occasions, literally.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s