The Saturday Snow White Variations: She’s Baaaaaack

6a00e54efdf11288330192aa923604970dI’m surprised there’s no real discussion about Snow White’s magical revival–where exactly was the magic?  It’s implied that she’s been put “under a spell” but the weapon wasn’t a “magic apple” but a “poison apple.’  The Dwarfs–Sleepy, Grouchy, Hungry, Horny, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur and Thorin Oakenshield–clearly thought she was dead, or they wouldn’t have laid her 73e5f40fc8da6e0ca1ec52cac5bf384fout in that nifty glass coffin that keeps all the forest creatures from gnawing on her surprisingly supple flesh–but doesn’t keep Young Prince Necrophile from snagging a little sugar from her moldering corpse.  Gives you something to think about, eh?

Forgetting that unfortunate perversion theme, we must wonder: the magic was in the kiss?  What am I forgetting?  Why does she wake up?  Why did she, um, remain so, er, fresh. Doesn’t really matter, because the point is–and we’re all in agreement, yes?–that she was dead.  And then, not so much.  A man has to wonder: is “not dead” always the same as alive, or….

Maybe she was exposed to a huge dose of Gamma Rays at the exact time she bit into the apple?










I know, it’s unlikely–but a guy can hope, right?  The alternative is just too disturbing to ponder.










I’m not talking about a mere deal with the devil, although that would do.





But something more…unnatural.

snow_white_zombie_by_g_10gian82-d5lobzh 123347_zombie_snow_white a3efb6eb71d35bb0f88fe7b844547f2f







About JunkChuck

Native, Militant Westsylvanian (the first last best place), laborer, gardener, and literary hobbyist (if by literary you mean "hack"). I've had a bunch of different blogs, probably four, due to a recurring compulsion to start over. This incarnation owes to a desire to dredge up the best entries of the worst little book of hand-scrawled poems I could ever dream of writing, salvageable excerpts from fiction both in progress and long-abandoned. and a smattering of whatever the hell seems to fit at any particular moment. At first blush, I was here just to focus on old, terrible verse, but I reserve the right to include...anything. Maybe everything, certainly my love of pulp novels growing garlic, the Pittsburgh Steelers and howling at the moon--both figuratively and, on rare occasions, literally.
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8 Responses to The Saturday Snow White Variations: She’s Baaaaaack

  1. Kate Loveton says:

    Won’t be reading this fairytale to the kids tonight… lol! Enjoyed this a lot… not sure what that says about me. Something twisted, no doubt.


  2. renxkyoko says:

    Oh, my. LOL !


  3. Zombie Snow White?! Yahhhh — run for the hills!


  4. In the written folktales she’s got magic poisoned apple from the wicked stepmother lodged in her mouth or throat and the Prince’s kiss or his lifting her up dislodge s the apple and she is alive again.


  5. This posting made me do some research—I tried many sites and though I always told my students NOT to rely on Wikipedia, this is what I found: “Time passes and a prince traveling through the land sees Snow White. He strides to her coffin and, enchanted by her beauty, instantly falls in love with her. The dwarfs succumb to his entreaties to let him have the coffin, and as his servants carry the coffin away, they stumble on some roots. The tremor caused by the stumbling causes the piece of poisoned apple to dislodge from Snow White’s throat, awakening her. The Prince then declares his love for her, and soon a wedding is planned. “….I had NEVER heard that version previously. The synopsis also reads that when the huntsman failed to kill Snow White, he brought back the lungs and heart of a wild boar (did you know that the pig valve is used in humans who have faulty valves?) to the Wicked Queen and she ATE them! ( Disney wisely left that out of the script. As usual, YOUR WRITING spurs me on! LOL


  6. JunkChuck says:

    I knew the part about the pig entrails–I had a version of this as a kid that contained that part, but the apple clogged throat is interesting. How much “time passes” is the key, however–brain damage starts around 4-5 minutes, right? I’m still thinking: zombie. Thanks for the scholarship, and for reading my blog!


  7. eric keys says:

    Love the pics! Fairy tales can be pretty messed up. The more you dig, the creepier they become.


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