Minor Rants In A Minor Key…a new, occasional feature on Old Road Apples, wherin the author bleeds his spleen onto the screen to therapeutic (for him) and, hopefully, entertaining (for you) effect. This column will appear sporadically, when you least expect it, like a hummingbird in your garden, or like shingles, a leak in the roof, or the lab tech your probation officer sends over to take a urine sample.
1. Here’s something that drives me nuts: when I click on a “news” link and what I find isn’t an article, but a video. I don’t want to watch a video. I want to read. Do they think I can’t read? Should I be insulted? Or do they put these videos where the articles should be just so they can force me to watch a commercial for some insurance product or pharmaceutical item I neither want nor need, for EACH video segment. At least on broadcast television they’re limited to 8 minutes of commercials for every half hour of content. On the internet its more like 1:1.
2. Testicles on pickup trucks. I’ll admit, the first time I saw this, I enjoyed a good laugh, but….no. Just, no.
3. Blogs in which the author–usually a very modest talent–writes, at great length, a warning about copyright infringement–citing fine amounts and repercussions, with a surety that bands of collaborators are scheming, even as we speak, to plunder and steal form his or her work…but which blog, upon further examination, is crowded with literally hundreds of uncredited, unattributed photos and illustrations.
4. People who call people with red hair “gingers.” This makes no sense. I’m a gardener and I like to cook, and know for a fact that ginger isn’t “red” or orange orcopper or auburn or whatever. Trust me.
5. People who say “tis” and “twas,” and who use the word “shall” gratuitously.
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