That Can’t Be Comfortable

I like pretty girls, beautiful women, sexy ladies, whatever combination of adjectives and nouns you prefer, as much as most guys, maybe even a little more than some.  From a progressive viewpoint, I’m a bit of a failure in this regard–I’d like to think that I don’t “objectify”, but the word that springs to mind as a replacement, “appreciate” seems not only facile but, frankly, self-indulgent (at best) and (probably) downright deceptive. To paraphrase President Jimmy Carter, “I have sinned in my heart.”  A lot.

random pretty girl

All this a she’s patriotic, too!

So, it should come as no surprise to you that, when I found out one of my newly signed blog followers was actually a bait page for a bunch of advertiser links seeded with sexy pictures of pretty girls in very small bathing suits, I lingered on the page to take in some of the scenery before moving on my way.  For research purposes only.

There are some fine looking, if somewhat emaciated, young women on these pages, and I’m not ashamed to say that I objectified every one of them on a purely aesthetic basis, giving no thought to personalities, intelligence, sense of humor, or any of the usual, enlightened criteria for evaluating humans.  And then I got to this one, which ruined it all, because–well–who puts themselves in a pose like that? And how on earth am I suppose to find her painful contortions attractive?
01-sexy-summer-girls-randomWith apologies to the model, I don’t think that I’ve ever seen a less sexy “sexy picture” in my life.  From the blank, vaguely confused-looking Britney Spears vacancy in her eyes (which must be stony concentration on holding that pose–one her toes, in wet sand no less!) to the oiled skin, the implants, and the raccoon-themed eye make-up. I don’t get it.

I’m actually at the beach right now (like last time, don’t even think of robbery–we’ve got a dog, observant neighbors, and a live-in house-sitter for the week) and, while I’m there, if I see any comely young lassies sunbathing in a pose like the one above I’ll bring back a photo and offer up mea culpas for all.

And, just for the record: what’s with that hair?



About JunkChuck

Native, Militant Westsylvanian (the first last best place), laborer, gardener, and literary hobbyist (if by literary you mean "hack"). I've had a bunch of different blogs, probably four, due to a recurring compulsion to start over. This incarnation owes to a desire to dredge up the best entries of the worst little book of hand-scrawled poems I could ever dream of writing, salvageable excerpts from fiction both in progress and long-abandoned. and a smattering of whatever the hell seems to fit at any particular moment. At first blush, I was here just to focus on old, terrible verse, but I reserve the right to include...anything. Maybe everything, certainly my love of pulp novels growing garlic, the Pittsburgh Steelers and howling at the moon--both figuratively and, on rare occasions, literally.
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7 Responses to That Can’t Be Comfortable

  1. kingmidget says:

    When I first looked at the second picture, my reaction was that I didn’t see a problem, because she has, well, you know, she has … But then I saw your point. It is ridiculous and all the makeup and everything else just says something so fundamentally wrong.

    But, here’s my question … if woman are going to participate in pictures like this and post them on their own websites, twitter feeds, blogs, facebook pages, and the like. Why is it that it’s the men who are doing the objectifying by ogling over the pictures? Aren’t they, by taking and posting the pictures?


    • JunkChuck says:

      I’m a guilty objectifier from way back, though I hope my all-consuming love, admiration, appreciation for pretty much all things feminine will spare my karma an extreme downward trajectory. It feels like it comes down to whether the attention is welcomed or not, and whether or not that welcomed attention results in the development of a habitual propensity to put appearance ahead of other criteria. A man sacrifices a lot, experientially and transcendentally if he plods along seeing little beyond the varying degrees of beauty–but a woman stands to lose so much more if that’s the wall she has to climb, again and again and again. To be righteous, a man must know that beauty is the package, nothing more, and he should know when to look away.


  2. zebrawoman says:

    Bo Derek?


  3. M T McGuire says:

    She actually looks pretty pissed off so I suspect they’ve had her like that for some minutes. Yeh, agreed. To be honest, many, many supposedly sexy shots of ladies have me thinking, ouch or eeew I bet that bra hurts etc etc. Although I am female and hetro so I suppose I’m always going to notice the logistical issues of that sort of thing above the allure.




    • JunkChuck says:

      Unless she’s a contortionist, that has to be rough. As for the architecturally complex nature of certain women’s undergarments, all I can say is that it’s good to be a man.


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