Edelman vs. Sabrina = Feminist Coup? Plus More Post-Superbowl

Ah, the Superbowl.  The lights, the commericals, the hubris…

Screen-shot-2015-02-04-at-12.07.41-PM1Richard Sherman, Doug Baldwin, the worst play call in the history of the Superbowl notwithstanding, the best story line is “Sabrina’s” priceless sleeping Julian Edelman photo: I think it’s crass and inappropriate and immature and disrespectful and indicative of much that’s wrong in our culture today but also totally fantastic because this is the kind of shit guys pull all the time and everybody chuckles and wags their fingers and grins about what a bad boy (nudge nudge, wink wink) he is.

I know that’s a run-on.  It’s supposed to be.

I’m not sure if post-coital internet posts (and I’m so damned old I don’t even know what the hell Tinder is*) following a drunken celebrity-bagging safari is a feminist gesture, but it sure seems like this young lady was taking control of and owning her sexuality. From that perspective, she’s almost heroic.

Right?

I mean, if they’d had digital cameras a back when dodo birds roamed the world and I was sleeping with all sorts of famous women…

Ah, the twisted. delusional ramblings of a dirty old man.

Other Post-Bowl Comments:

In the wake of Superbowl 49, let’s ditch the Roman numerals–no one learns latin anymore: they’d be better off putting Superbowl titles in Cyrillic: Cуперкубок 49

Or Chinese: 超級碗49

Or even arabic:  الفناء تسعة وأربعين

All equally effective to Superbowl XLIX.  Sounds like the name of a rapping porn star.  X-licks?  Phooey!

This never gets old.

This never gets old.

And how about Seattle’s bonehead play to serve up the Superbowl to the crux of evil Patriots? Any good Steelers fan who was alive in 1994 will tell you NEVER PASS DOWN THE MIDDLE ON SHORT AND GOAL AT THE END OF THE FOURTH QUARTER WITH THE GAME ON THE LINE.  It’s ironic, because so many Seahawk faithful still whine about the Steelers beating them back in Superbowl XL (now that’s a Roman Numeral…Xtra Freaking LARGE, mofo.

So many good Asshats to right about right now:   let’s not fail to mention (it’s what he wants, anyway) Seattle’s “Baldwin Squat” touchdown celebration.  From this point forward he’ll be known as Shithead–not the only guy in the NFL with that nickname, but the most deserving.  I’m pretty certain he’s the first guy in NFL history to be disciplined for simulated defecation.

He used to be just a run of the mill douchebag–but now he’s a infamously juvenile “deucebag.”

This is turning out to be a fun post, and I’m realizing one thing that didn’t occur to me while the two teams I despise most were butting heads.  You see, I’d been thinking that it was lamentable that one of these teams would win, but what I should have been thinking about was that one of them was just as certain to lose.

Is that my own sour grapes talking?  Absolutely, but it’s okay as long as I’m self-aware enough to realize it.  The truth of the matter is that it was a very interesting, exciting game, unlike last year’s debacle (thanks, Peyton) so, ultimately, it could have been worse.

*Oh, I have an idea what Tinder is, and I know that I could look it up and find out in about twenty seconds, but I’d like the idea of living in a world where I’m totally ignorant of such things.  A happier, less complicated world….

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About JunkChuck

Native, Militant Westsylvanian (the first last best place), laborer, gardener, and literary hobbyist (if by literary you mean "hack"). I've had a bunch of different blogs, probably four, due to a recurring compulsion to start over. This incarnation owes to a desire to dredge up the best entries of the worst little book of hand-scrawled poems I could ever dream of writing, salvageable excerpts from fiction both in progress and long-abandoned. and a smattering of whatever the hell seems to fit at any particular moment. At first blush, I was here just to focus on old, terrible verse, but I reserve the right to include...anything. Maybe everything, certainly my love of pulp novels growing garlic, the Pittsburgh Steelers and howling at the moon--both figuratively and, on rare occasions, literally.
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2 Responses to Edelman vs. Sabrina = Feminist Coup? Plus More Post-Superbowl

  1. Very Bangled says:

    The biggest take away that I had from watching the Superbowl is that Edelman is hot. So bravo young Sabrina! Bravo for working your magic on that dude who would otherwise forget your name tomorrow. Now he won’t forget it EVER.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. JunkChuck says:

    I’m all for any comment that puts the word hot beside bearded guys–but that was my response, too: good for you, young lady.

    Like

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