Scratch and Sniff…

A while ago, I was reading through a blog post over at Arkenaten’s A Tale Unfolds that culminated with some nice photos, including one of a man on the street selling fish, and it ignited in me a memory of an old idea I’d get while reading the rare “scratch and sniff” book to my children.

Those smells were always so pleasant, in a sort of bathroom cleanser pine and floral chemical way, and I often entertained the idea of making a scratch and sniff book that, from the outside, looked traditional but was actually a parody not really meant for kids. Think of what was done with the epic “Go The Fuck To Sleep” retort to “Goodnight Moon.”

nolte01

In the film adaptation, the role of Lester will played by Nick Nolte.

Ours could be an a adventure story of a hero named Lester exploring “the wharf” at night and relishing all his adventures. Think about it …Lester goes to the bar and eats deviled eggs.  Lester makes the moves on a transvestite hooker who ate two tins of anchovies and garlic bread for dinner. Lester gets shitfaced and pukes in the alley. Lester stumbles and falls into a corner where the homeless people piss…inevitably, Lester would get rolled by a couple of junkies and left for dead, stumble out of the alley in the early morning and get arrested and beat to hell while in custody by a couple of bored cops, but I’m not sure what that would smell like, yet.

Whatever, it would kill.

Steal this idea and I’ll sue, either before or after I kick your ass.  Smells the same either way.

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About JunkChuck

Native, Militant Westsylvanian (the first last best place), laborer, gardener, and literary hobbyist (if by literary you mean "hack"). I've had a bunch of different blogs, probably four, due to a recurring compulsion to start over. This incarnation owes to a desire to dredge up the best entries of the worst little book of hand-scrawled poems I could ever dream of writing, salvageable excerpts from fiction both in progress and long-abandoned. and a smattering of whatever the hell seems to fit at any particular moment. At first blush, I was here just to focus on old, terrible verse, but I reserve the right to include...anything. Maybe everything, certainly my love of pulp novels growing garlic, the Pittsburgh Steelers and howling at the moon--both figuratively and, on rare occasions, literally.
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4 Responses to Scratch and Sniff…

  1. Nick Nolte too. *laughing* – a fine idea, I smell a winner, but would rather not with that plot.

    – sonmi.u.t.C

    Like

  2. Souldiergirl says:

    You are fabulous and make me smile!

    Like

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