Fall Back (Into A Freshly Vacated Grave)

Halloween on a Saturday and daylight savings time on the same night spells an extra hour of spooky fun and costumed hijinks.  Turn your clock back before you do out carousing, and don’t do anything I would have done when I was your age. Be particularly wary of girls in kitten costumes.

Two Weeks of Halloween: The Pumpkin Killers

The Pumpkin Killers.

Wednesday Words 10/28/15: Rocks

“I got a rock.”
–Charlie Brown

“Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with.  C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special”
–Chris Rock

 

Two Weeks of Halloween: Axe Handle

He’s coming for you.

Monday/Memeday: Captive Spirits

About the halloweeniest I could find.

Two Weeks of Halloween: Bunny Cult

There’s a strange and seemingly growing phenomena of folks wearing bunny masks…  I think they’re a cult, and I’m scared of them.  Oh, it seems innocent enough at the beginning…

But he’s watching…

They’re all watching…

And the next thing you know, it happens, and you’re part of it…

And the worst thing is, when it’s done, you don’t really even care.

They’re everywhere, hiding in plain sight…

Anya knew…

 

Two Weeks of Halloween: The Buckley Family

This is a classic, and for good reason….the Buckley children clearly had some mommy issues.

The Great Sexy Halloween Costume Debate 4 of 4

Some final thoughts.  I wanted to weigh in on my own here, sort of a personal summary, while touching base on potential costume choices.

The father in me had no problem coming up with a several costume suggestions which are, in their particular socio-cultural mileau, hot enough to incinerate.  Among them are…

The man of reason in me just wants to caution you against this….

And the husband says, “Hey, baby–you could totally pull this off….”

The Great Sexy Halloween Costume Debate 3 of 4

So, we’ve heard recrimination, and earnest warnings, but I promised a debate so here is a voice calling out in the name of feminine empowerment….

Sexy Lumberjack–popular and functional in the Pacific Northwest

This quote is the first thing I stumbled upon, attributed to Cady Heron.

“In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World. Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.” 

I assumed Ms. Heron must be a brilliant, outspoken young feminist, but it turns out  she’s a fictional character played by Lindsay Lohan in the movie, “Mean Girls.”

Opps.

On the upside, Tina Fey wrote that movie, and Tina Fey epitomizes the personality that psychologists and cultural anthropologists typically refer to as “da bomb.” There must be some sort of elemental halloween costume component to that movie, because it is referenced repeatedly in essays on sexy costumes.

Halloween Slut-Shaming PSA: Dress However The Hell You Want

Sexy Boba Fett. Requires a LOT of confidence.

“Women are constantly bombarded with people telling them how they should and shouldn’t dress, and this Halloween is no different. There’s the “don’t succumb to peer pressure and dress like a slut” mentality versus the “Halloween is the day to be scantily clad” notion. And frankly, it’s f*cking annoying.…”

This article comes from the pseudonymous writer, Kgazm, an editor at Elite and “an advocate for the equal opportunity orgasm. She is the persona of a woman who knows what she wants. Her writing specializes in eviscerating the double standard, one article at a time. ”

At least there is no double standard. I’d be crucified by the other guys if I dressed sexy.

Right on, Kgazm!  There’s nothing better than a woman who speaks her piece and has no patience for bullshit.  And she’s not alone.  I expected to find a vast array of essays decrying objectification, but that wasn’t the case.  Virtually all of the most popular hits are about women exerting ownership of their own sexiness on this one day, when society allows them to dress sexy without judgement from other women.

Men, it seems, are still not supposed to look.  That’s objectification. That’s right.  A woman could theoretically dress herself up in the trampiest costume she could find, and a man would be sexist if he suggested it was inappropriate as well as sexist if he liked it too much. Halloween is particularly difficult for guys, at least in this regard.  Of course, being a guy totally rocks the other 364 days a year–more pay, gratis membership in the Old Boys Club, strangers–with the exception of a few senile dowagers–don’t call us honey or sweetheart….

It’s all pretty much equitable, right?  And besides, guys like me–good guys–we’ve learned not to gawk, having mastered the key component to progressive maleness, the ability to stealthily sneak a peak.

Two Weeks of Halloween: Spooky Tubbies

Am I the only one creeped out by this one?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The source for this is inspired: