Loonette Etcetera

If you have kids of a certain age, you’re probably familiar with things like Barney, Teletubbies, Caillou, Arthur, and some of the other PBS children’s staples from the early part of this century. The kids were always ambivalent about Barney, Teletubbies creeped all of us out (if you haven’t seen the Joy Division/Teletubbies mash-up, you should)–and how could they spill that goddamn tubby custard every damn episode? I sort of wished Caillou lived in the neighborhood, just to hope someday when the kids grew up my daughter could kick his sniveling, candied ass, but I like Arthur a lot–and not just because it’s got a lot of western PA references. I remain a big, big Binky fan–but no surprise there, right?
big comfy couch
There is one show, however, that the kids sometimes watched, that we all enjoyed, but which left me feeling vaguely uncomfortable and confused. I’m talking about The Big Comfy Couch–you know, “with Loonette and Molly, a clown and her dolly…?”  Want to know why? It’s no secret, and you already know I’m going to tell you .

At a certain time in each episode, Loonette would tell the time by laying down on this clock carpet on the floor and sort of, sexy clock writhingum, well, gyrate and contort herself into the hours of the day, as they served the plot. It was kind of sexy. I’m not saying that I got aroused, just that I noticed, that I recognized that I noticed, and it made me feel just a little uncomfortable. Okay, it made me feel just a little wrong. It was impossible to tell how old this clown was–and she did have a dolly. Was there something wrong with me? Something dark?

279881You can imagine my relief when I looked at this feature–clicked on a link that led to another link and so on–from Cracked magazine (which has a big web presence, who knew?) titled “If Every Kid’s Show Got a Gritty Live-Action Re-Boot”. They’d had a contest, and among the winners–number 6, in fact–was a fresh, contemporary start for Loonette. I had to smile: it wasn’t just me!

Better still, in searching for the images I used above, I found out that not only does Alyson Court, the actress who played Loonette, have a pretty cool twitter, she’s not all that much younger than me–and she’s actually pretty hot. A lot hot, actually.  So cool and hot–which means that not only am I not a pervert, I’ve got the amazing ability to see through the clownish exterior to the witty, striking, woman beneath the make-up. It’s like BQmAwurCAAIYWaOa super-power, maybe even the hetero equivalent of Gaydar–which, of course, begs the question: why waste it on a broken down old married guy like me?  Nature works in strange, mysterious, and random ways, I guess.

Advertisements

About JunkChuck

Native, Militant Westsylvanian (the first last best place), laborer, gardener, and literary hobbyist (if by literary you mean "hack"). I've had a bunch of different blogs, probably four, due to a recurring compulsion to start over. This incarnation owes to a desire to dredge up the best entries of the worst little book of hand-scrawled poems I could ever dream of writing, salvageable excerpts from fiction both in progress and long-abandoned. and a smattering of whatever the hell seems to fit at any particular moment. At first blush, I was here just to focus on old, terrible verse, but I reserve the right to include...anything. Maybe everything, certainly my love of pulp novels growing garlic, the Pittsburgh Steelers and howling at the moon--both figuratively and, on rare occasions, literally.
This entry was posted in Commentary and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Loonette Etcetera

  1. joey says:

    That’s funny. I am seriously chuckling and showing my family this pic. Thanks 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lori Crane says:

    This made me LOL! I’m glad you’re not a pervert, and I’m glad for you that you found out you’re not a pervert. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Karma says:

    I can’t believe I found someone else who remembers the Big Comfy Couch! I wondered about the weirdness of that show too (my girls were ga-ga for it, in fact when my now 21 year old daughter was about 4, I made her a Loonette costume). I’m strangely weirded out by that picture of Alyson Court, but also happy for you that you’re not a pervert, lol.

    Like

  4. Pingback: 30 Struggles You'll Only Understand If You Grew Up In Canada | Narcity Toronto

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s