I’m More Patriotic Than You…

…And I can prove by being the biggest asshole I can be to Olympic Gymnast Gabby Douglas, a young woman I never met, barely heard about, and haven’t thought of since her spectacular performances in the London Olympic Games of 2012.

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In case you’re living under a rock–and if so, I envy you–you at least know who Gabby Douglas is, but just in case, here’s the lowdown: American gymnast, kicked ass in London four years ago, made the team again this year as a bit of a long shot at age 20. Once a darling of the media, and those who are told by the media who is supposed to be our darling, she was replaced this time around with a younger, even better model of cute tiny bouncing jumping twisting tumbling cover-your-eyes-she-could-fall bundle of energy and recast as the somber old fogey grasping for a last chance at glory.

Douglas did well, but not as well as the last time around, and she was clearly disappointed in herself, which the media played up, contrasting her unhappiness with the effervescent ebullience of Simone Biles, the aforementioned new darling. Douglas was good enough to compete for the team award, however, which won a Gold Medal, which should have been the crowning moment for a stupendous week, if it weren’t for a lapse.

During the playing of the American National Anthem. Douglas stood straight-backed and stoic, hands at her side.Uh-oh.
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The internet exploded with angry recriminations as spit-spraying idiots tripped all over themselves in competition to prove how fucking awesomely patriotic they are by trying to administer the biggest symbolic beat down on some kid, by tearing into a young woman whose big crime is a breach of the “flag code.”

I could not help but wonder what mode of torment would sufficiently punish this horrible bitch for her irredeemable transgression. Would tar and feathering be good, or is that too old fashioned? What about burning at the stake?  Or hanging?–but that might remind us of some stuff great-grandpa did on his night rides that we’d rather not talk about. Gunfire seems to be in vogue–but it turned out they were content to rant on twitter like a bunch of petty little children.

It didn’t help that the internet is filled with photos like this, from a previous competition:
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The Twitter noise was intense, as morons vomited recriminations from trailer packs across the country. You can find them easily enough, but I won’t link a thing here, lest I generate hits for these bellicose asshats. But the content is easy enough to imagine: bitch, traitor, ingrate, baby, un-American, and a host of subtle and not so  subtle racial stuff, much of it aimed as impaling Ms. Douglas as a proxy for the Black Lives Matter movement. It’s been hard to read any of it without feeling ashamed by my own patriotism, wondering, is this the country that I love so much?

Seriously. This is what outrages us? What a small, ugly people we’ve become. They ought to build a wall to keep us in. Until then, I’m forced to wonder, which is more unpatriotic?
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About JunkChuck

Native, Militant Westsylvanian (the first last best place), laborer, gardener, and literary hobbyist (if by literary you mean "hack"). I've had a bunch of different blogs, probably four, due to a recurring compulsion to start over. This incarnation owes to a desire to dredge up the best entries of the worst little book of hand-scrawled poems I could ever dream of writing, salvageable excerpts from fiction both in progress and long-abandoned. and a smattering of whatever the hell seems to fit at any particular moment. At first blush, I was here just to focus on old, terrible verse, but I reserve the right to include...anything. Maybe everything, certainly my love of pulp novels growing garlic, the Pittsburgh Steelers and howling at the moon--both figuratively and, on rare occasions, literally.
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9 Responses to I’m More Patriotic Than You…

  1. renxkyoko says:

    ” morons vomited recrimination from trailer parks “……. this made me laughed out loud.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. leggypeggy says:

    I have to confess that I don’t know who Gabby Douglas is, but then I don’t live in the USA and last Olympics I was living under a rock—sort of. But I sympathise with her. Having lived outside the USA for 40 years, I also have to confess that I don’t remember all the words to the Star-spangled Banner. So shoot me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • JunkChuck says:

      I was at a swim meet not that long ago and engaged in a fun conversation with my wife before we realized that everyone was standing and the anthem was playing. I’d never even noticed, but we both leapt to our feet, for the sake of propriety. After the song finished I realized I’d never taken off my cap. Opps.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. People are so willing to jump over one another for any reason… ug… Can’t we all just get along?!! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • JunkChuck says:

      It’s a mix of old-fashioned denigration of others to elevate oneself along with narcissism of generating “hits” and the plain old emotional high of getting all worked up. Donald Trump’s rise reflects this, along with our ability to experience that rush vicariously, but unfortunately his popularity has enabled a profoundly ugly downturn in the tenor of social discourse.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. jilldennison says:

    Yes, the whole nonsense over Ms. Biles and the flag thing can be likened to the outrage of the lemmings a few years back when President Obama appeared in public a time or two not sporting a flag lapel pin! Geez, people, wake up and get a life … think about things that actually matter! Ah, but the keyword there is “think”, is it not?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ben Naga says:

    “What a small, ugly people we’ve become.” While not disagreeing may I say that the U.S.- or at least some of its inhabitants – have find their counterparts all over the world. You probably know Samuel Johnson’s adage: http://samueljohnson.com/refuge.html

    Like

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