Author Archives: JunkChuck

About JunkChuck

Native, Militant Westsylvanian (the first last best place), laborer, gardener, and literary hobbyist (if by literary you mean "hack"). I've had a bunch of different blogs, probably four, due to a recurring compulsion to start over. This incarnation owes to a desire to dredge up the best entries of the worst little book of hand-scrawled poems I could ever dream of writing, salvageable excerpts from fiction both in progress and long-abandoned. and a smattering of whatever the hell seems to fit at any particular moment. At first blush, I was here just to focus on old, terrible verse, but I reserve the right to include...anything. Maybe everything, certainly my love of pulp novels growing garlic, the Pittsburgh Steelers and howling at the moon--both figuratively and, on rare occasions, literally.

Knock On My Door, Will You?

A True Story. Mostly. A knock on the door last week, too damned early in the morning…an older middle-aged woman with pamphlets and a bible in a floral dress and sensible shoes bearing close resemblance to Mrs. C, my tenth-grade … Continue reading

Posted in fiction, Funny and/or Strange, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Christmas Dinner–A Timeless Tale of The Season

Originally posted on Old Road Apples:
This internet classic isn’t for children, the overly sensitive, or those lacking a fundamental sense of humor.  I’ve seen it around in various forms–no idea who the original author might be, or if the…

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Rudolph’s North Pole: Bastion of Oppression?

I keep threatening to come back here on a regular basis, and I don’t, but every once in a great while I’m reminded how the world suffers from my waning vigilance and gross inattention, and I’m ashamed to realize how … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, Commentary, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

You Made This.

How does this happen? 14 Months Ago White Supremacists Marched Through Charlottesville, Virginia chanting “Jews will not replace us” and President of The United States Donald Trump chastised those who called the vile bastards out, saying “THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE … Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, Yinzerism/Pittsburgh Advocacy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Officer Involved Shooting – 1210 S. Lamar

Originally posted on DPD Beat:
On September 6, 2018 at about 9:59 p.m., an off duty Dallas Police officer called police dispatch and said she was involved in a shooting at the apartments located at 1210 S. Lamar. Preliminary information…

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Am I The Only Person Who Reads My “Spam” Comments and Believes Them?

I looked at my filtered comments today, just to make sure I wasn’t missing any interactions–unlikely since I’ve been occupied elsewhere of late, and the Old Road Apples have turned spoiled and squishy. I did not expect to find a … Continue reading

Posted in Commentary, Funny and/or Strange | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Porch Missionary

A knock on the door last week, too damned early in the morning…a woman with pamphlets, a forced smile, and a bible. “Hello, I’m spreading the good word about a 3-day conference in–” “Is this a god thing?” “Why yes, … Continue reading

Posted in fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Every Day Is MemeDay: Rescue Child

I’ve saved so many memes in a file on my hard drives and finally wondered: what am I saving these for? My retirement? A rainy day? Maybe that–but isn’t it raining right now? Of course it is. My mom had … Continue reading

Posted in humor, meme | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

DAHOF: South Dakota Rep. Michael Clark

Not every selection for the Dumb Ass Hall Of Fame is an idiot, dotard, or buffoon. Some, like this week’s honoree, are just brain-numbed by hate and ignorance. The morality of the nation crumbles around us, hurtling toward a precipice … Continue reading

Posted in Commentary | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Grim Truth of Almond Milk

I agree with the profundity excerpted below.  It is so deeply wrong that it’s called Almond Milk. There are no nipples on almonds. None. They can’t be milked. They don’t make more tomorrow. They’re drowned, then cracked and crushed and … Continue reading

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments