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Porch Missionary
A knock on the door last week, too damned early on a foggy morning…a woman with pamphlets, a captious smile, and bible clenched beneath white, shivering knuckles. Her impressively baroque hair towered beneath a clear plastic rain bonnet that snapped beneath her chin like a helmet. “Hello, I’m spreading the good word about a 3-day…
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Every Day Is MemeDay: Rescue Child
I’ve saved so many memes in a file on my hard drives and finally wondered: what am I saving these for? My retirement? A rainy day? Maybe that–but isn’t it raining right now? Of course it is. My mom had a leash for me. Of course she did.
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DAHOF: South Dakota Rep. Michael Clark
Not every selection for the Dumb Ass Hall Of Fame is an idiot, dotard, or buffoon. Some, like this week’s honoree, are just brain-numbed by hate and ignorance. The morality of the nation crumbles around us, hurtling toward a precipice of as-yet-unimaginable depth, spurred by the pubescent leadership of our President, the jibbering sycophants who…
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Grim Truth of Almond Milk
I agree with the profundity excerpted below. It is so deeply wrong that it’s called Almond Milk. There are no nipples on almonds. None. They can’t be milked. They don’t make more tomorrow. They’re drowned, then cracked and crushed and churned through a mechanical extractor and squeezed through a filter. What’s left, that people drink,…
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D.A.H.O.F. Nominees: Sarah Braasch & The Merritt Lake Oakland Charcoal Nazi
Thank all gods–the tall ones and the small ones the jiggly ones and firm ones–for dumb asses, because without dumb asses I’d have slipped completely from this blog altogether. Fortunately, just like Michael Corleone, “Every time I think I’m out, they pull me back in!” The dumb asses, I mean. They do the pulling. We’re…
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Evangelicals LOVE Trump No Matter Who & How Often He’s Slipped The Schmeckle
The Washington Post just threw us an interesting article on the unwillingness of Evangelicals to condemn Donald Trump for his serial philandering, ultimately explaining the moral hypocrisy on white christian nationalism, irrational fear of islam, and a certain cold-tempered pragmatism that suggests they would excuse the excesses of Satan himself, should the devil suddenly call…
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D.A.H.O.F: Jamie Gilt
D U M B – A S S H A L L OF F A M E N O M I N A T I O N I shouldn’t need an excuse to circle back around to my poor, mistreated, attention-starved blog–or the millions, thousands, hundreds, dozens of eager readers who breathlessly await my oracular…
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Trump Tower: Don’t Worry, It’s Just PANTS ON FIRE.
http://thehill.com/homenews/news/367870-fire-crews-responding-to-fire-at-trump-tower http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/trump-tower-new-york-catches-fire-smoke-seen-billowing-roof-1654247
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It’s Snowy Deck & Patio Furniture Season
Christmas is over and back in its box in the attic. The jet stream is blowing hard across the Great Lakes and pummeling us with sub-zero wind chills and lake effect snow, arctic clippers and blowing down across Ohio and, this week, that newest hyperbolic wild weather phenomena–the BOMB CYCLONE (oh how the marketing brahs…
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Danielle LoPresti: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Because it’s all about the kids when it comes down to it, right? One of my favorite covers of a Christmas classic.
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Old Road Apples 