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Am I The Only One Wondering…

…why they keep making children’s movies now that my kids are grown?

Most of them look pretty awful.  Seems like such a waste of valuable screen space.



The Saturday Snow White Variations–Final Installment

So this is it.  I’ve milked this theme a little longer than I should have, but I’m nothing if not thorough–but the end of Snow White Saturdays (it really is weird that I have devoted 4 posts over a month to this, isn’t it?) will make my wife happy–she just thinks it’s been boring, which I can deal with. As long as she doesn’t figure out it’s sort of creepy, too.  Ah, well.  Today I’m just sticking up the best of rest of the literally hundreds of interesting images I’ve found–all of these came from Tumblr, and none had attributions–as usual, if they’re your work, let me know: I’d like to give you credit and link back to your site.

This one is first because it’s the most clever.  The “note’ and the mug shot at the end are the finale, because they’re my favorites.
Snow White's Apple






Snow 67 Snow 29 Snow Whip Snow Bad Apple Snow silouette


don't tell me Snow Wrong

Commentary Photo I Like

The Saturday Snow White Variations: She’s Baaaaaack

6a00e54efdf11288330192aa923604970dI’m surprised there’s no real discussion about Snow White’s magical revival–where exactly was the magic?  It’s implied that she’s been put “under a spell” but the weapon wasn’t a “magic apple” but a “poison apple.’  The Dwarfs–Sleepy, Grouchy, Hungry, Horny, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur and Thorin Oakenshield–clearly thought she was dead, or they wouldn’t have laid her 73e5f40fc8da6e0ca1ec52cac5bf384fout in that nifty glass coffin that keeps all the forest creatures from gnawing on her surprisingly supple flesh–but doesn’t keep Young Prince Necrophile from snagging a little sugar from her moldering corpse.  Gives you something to think about, eh?

Forgetting that unfortunate perversion theme, we must wonder: the magic was in the kiss?  What am I forgetting?  Why does she wake up?  Why did she, um, remain so, er, fresh. Doesn’t really matter, because the point is–and we’re all in agreement, yes?–that she was dead.  And then, not so much.  A man has to wonder: is “not dead” always the same as alive, or….

Maybe she was exposed to a huge dose of Gamma Rays at the exact time she bit into the apple?










I know, it’s unlikely–but a guy can hope, right?  The alternative is just too disturbing to ponder.










I’m not talking about a mere deal with the devil, although that would do.






But something more…unnatural.


snow_white_zombie_by_g_10gian82-d5lobzh 123347_zombie_snow_white a3efb6eb71d35bb0f88fe7b844547f2f







The Saturday Morning Snow White Variations 1


As I’ve mentioned elsewhere–most recently in a post I’ve already written that you haven’t seen yet!–I like having themes woven through this blog, little bits of this and that that serve as prompts and inspirations when I have time to write, or as visual filler when I don’t.  The Saturday Morning Snow White Variations will be another such theme for the next several months.  But why?

It happened like this.  In 1990, just west of Blue Earth, Minnesota I stopped for airstreamsome reason or another and ran into a guy with an old Airstream RV which he’d kept polished to a perfect stainless steel glint, like one of the Lone Ranger’s bullets writ large.  It was impressive, but even better was that he’d had a large mural of Snow White painted across the rear side panel of the thing, in the fashion of old-school World War II era airplane nose cone art–but this wasn’t Uncle Walt’s Snow White.  Her heavenlyblouse was cut low, showing way too much Magic Kingdom for Disney, and she wore garters and hose on her endless legs.  She looked a lot like the first image at the top of the page, except that she wasn’t skirtless–her dress was just hiked up quite a bit, and there weren’t any squirrels.  In her outstretched hand she held a shiny red apple, not pondering it herself but offering it as a tantalizing treat, as if she was Eve herself.

I was out of film. Having squandered my last frames on the massive Jolly Green Giant statue in Blue Earth, I’d figured on securing more Kodachrome for the Corn b0edc54f198741ab0c6d7af84112165aPalace and parts west in Mitchell, just up the road a piece, but the image stuck in my mind until a few weeks ago when it occurred to me that something so magnificent might have caught more eyes than mine, and a photo might be found on the wacky wide web, even 24 years after the fact.  Alas, no–but I haven’t given up.  More to the point, during my search I discovered a remarkable volume and wide range of Snow White illustrations, many of them quite evocative–maybe even provocative–to the point where I feel comfortable saying that the chaste princess of the forest must be one of the most ubiquitous inspirations for fetishistic illustrations on the net.  I’ve collected several dozen of the best and will offer them serially, until I run out–or get bored.

2a7686cc85ca35775560ac1c96413031In the meantime, if you’ve ever seen the Snow White RV, or better still know where I can get a picture, let me know. The owner and his girlfriend were towing a sharp, ligher blue 1970’s Opel Manta behind the rig.  Both of them would have to be at least 85 years old by now, but I’d like to think he’s still out there, traveling the highways, causing frazzled parents to frantically scramble to cover their impressionable children’s eyes.