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Funny and/or Strange video Yinzerism/Pittsburgh Advocacy

Ah, Pittsburgh In The Snow…

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Commentary

Michael Vick Furor + I H8 Change.org

So, my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers went out and signed pariah quarterback Michael Vick as what is likely to be a short term fill-in as a backup.  Predictably, a few dim, narrow corridors in the social media maze have gone ablaze with fury fired so hot that it quickly consumed all available oxygen, which resulted in secondary hypoxia for all therein.  That anti-Vick crowd, now gasping for breath, still writhes angrily on the floor, contorted in bitter and frustrated resentment.

vickAfter almost no thought at all I offered my own opinion elsewhere…

“Vick screwed up–but I think it’s safe, if not particularly correct or popular–to say that the business with dog fighting has a certain cultural element to it–and by culture I mean, yes: poverty, latitude, and race.  That isn’t an indictment of any group–different communities have their vices–poor people, and black people are inordinately represented among the poor, are more apt to be involved in dog fighting than wealthier folks–and it doesn’t hurt that the latter know better how to keep their hands appearing clean.

Dog fighting, and its associated abuses, was not taboo in Vick’s microcosm.  He grew up around it, like a lot of poor city kids, and while he probably knew in the abstract that it was wrong, it didn’t really sink in until he was hip deep in trouble. (and for the love of the gods why doesn’t the NFL hire a team of “cleaners” who would find these kids and see what they hell they’re into that won’t wash now that they’re famous, then make them stop?) Ignorance–or even the fact that in much of the word dogs = calories–doesn’t exonerate him, but it does explain what he did and why, and it’s long past time to move forward from what happened because, as those before me said, he’s paid what society demanded of him. And more. He went to prison and lost millions upon millions of dollars as well as the prime years of his athletic career. We forgive a lot worse people for a lot more terrible things.

He also worked his way back and, as far as we know, has been an exemplary citizen (and yeh, I’m knocking on wood as I say it) and an admirably professional athlete. The free agent cupboard is pretty bare, especialy at quarterback, and I can’t think of a better available free agent, between his maturity and his skills. I’m glad that the Steelers are going out and taking care of business pro-actively. If Gradkowski wasn’t hurt, I’d think differently. At this point, I don’t sign Vick over Bruce–but with no viable backup (Jones is still a project and then some)–there simply isn’t anyone else out there right now, and from a purely football standpoint this is a good signing.”

Within a few minutes of posting this, one of my “real name” friends stuck up an angry change.org petition on her facebook page, that bleated “Michael Vick is a convicted felon and no-class piece of crap. He is also a terrible QB which is why he has no team.  Let’s united as Steeler fans – as NFL fans – and stop him from playing on our team! Steelers fans united! Sign to keep Vick from ever wearing the coveted Steelers uniform!!”

Ugh.  If there is one thing that makes me want to invite Michael Vick over to the house for a nice, “Welcome To Western Pennsylvania” meal, it is a Change.org petition.

Change.org petitions are one of several reasons that I have stopped identifying myself as a liberal, which strictly speaking I never was, at least not by definition. Libertine, but not liberal.  As I’ve said before, my politics skew to the old school Bull Moose progressivism–populist, anti-corporate, strong domestic policy, etc–and the namby pamby sensitivity that accompanies “liberalism” as it is colloquially regarded, respulses me. These petitions are little more than vehicles for us to feel good about ourselves with the least possible effort–look, ma, I clicked against that guy who did that thing! I clicked hard, too!  I was really ticked off! I made a difference! Yay me!

We’ve become too weak, too fragile in our sensitivities, and it the case of Mr. Vick, we’re grossly hypocritical. He killed dogs. It’s a terrible thing. I love dogs. I love my 40 pound dog who sits on my lap and lets me hold her like she’s an infant. I prefer her company to that of all but a very few humans. Vick’s actions disgusted me, but how much do we ask of one man–at what point do we forgive? We work tirelessly to rehabilitate other criminals–we cheer them when they transcend their missteps, however vile, but because Mike Vick is famous he must be forever marked. If he was a stringy haired punk from the corner who’d done his time, cleared his parole, and got himself a new job, we’d point to him as gleaming beacon of hope for the success of justice system. But he’s a black dude who runs fast, and gets to be on TV, so he’ll never pay enough. Would we resent him if he got a job at Dairy Queen? No, because the schadenfreude would be washing over us so thick and warm we’d tremble in orgiastic delight.

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Photo I Like summer photos Uncategorized

2015 Summer Wonders #50: You Can Never Get Enough Watermelon

It’s watermelon week at Old Road Apples’ summer wonders.  Enjoy.

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Funny and/or Strange

Ring A Ding Dong With Pavlov’s Dogs

Dr. Pavlov is in a bar and he hears the phone ring and says; “That reminds me; I must feed the dogs.”

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Why is Pavlov’s hair so soft?  It’s all the Classic Conditioning.

FzGhx

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Uncategorized

Found Summer Photo: Dawg Days of Summer

Apologies in advance…but really, tell me how I could have possibly resisted posting this as part of this series?  Woof.
beach dawg

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Funny and/or Strange Photo I Like

V the K’s Caption–Hours of Fun

http://www.vthek.net

They post a picture–weird, normal, sexy, strange, whatever…and people add captions.  What a simple, wonderful idea I wish I’d had–or had the gall to steal.  If you’re in a bad mood about all the idiots in the world, this page will help.  There’s a lot of funny people out there.

I thought this one was particularly funny and topical

http://www.vthek.net/2010/11/putin-and-puppy.html

putin_puppy1. “Thank you, I can’t wait to eat it.”

2. “You see, this is where Cruella de Vil went wrong. I only need 10, maybe 12 of these to make a good coat.”

3. “In honor of the American First Lady, I will name him, ‘Old Yeller.'”

4. “Cool, let’s shoot it into space until it dies.”

5. Putin’s affection for the animal was short-lived, as was the animal itself when it crapped on the seat of his Harley.

Best of Matt the K
“I guess the Russians love their puppies too”, mused a wistful Sting.

Best of Matt the K
The mindmeld complete, Chairman Scruffy promptly destroyed his humanoid parasite.

Best of HLam
Putin’s mistake of confusing the pooch for a Winter Muff proved fatal for the dog when one hand entered it’s mouth and another hand entered it’s rump.

Best of GregMan
“And I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George.”

Best of Chronos the Wonder Pig
Putin discovers how “Puddles” got his nickname

Best of Jack Reacher
“I will name him Chechnya, and keep my hand always at his throat. Bwahahahahahahha! Oh, I slay me.”

Best of Steve O
Being all out of iPods, Happy Meal toys, and DVD’s didn’t matter — once the State Department came up with exactly the right idea.

Best of Adriane
And here I always thought Beethoven was German …

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Dear Humane Society Forum – As a puppy, I never thought I’d be writing to you about my sex adventures, but…

Best of JohnS1959
“Alright America, sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation treaty or the puppy gets it”, threatened Mr. Putin.
Posted by V the K at 10:48 AM
21 comments:

Matt the K said…

“I guess the Russians love their puppies too”, mused a wistful Sting.
11:42 AM
Matt the K said…

The mindmeld complete, Chairman Scruffy promptly destroyed his humanoid parasite.
11:44 AM
Matt the K said…

Putin warmly receives his gift of Puppy Kiev from the North Korean delegation.
11:45 AM
Matt the K said…

Putin was so instantly smitten, he did not hear his translator emphatically begging him to please put Secretary Clinton back down.
11:49 AM
HLam said…

Putin’s mistake of confusing the pooch for a Winter Muff proved fatal for the dog when one hand entered it’s mouth and another hand entered it’s rump.
12:38 PM
GregMan said…

After Putin used his Death Hug to suffocate the puppy, his jaw unhinged and he swallowed it down.
4:05 PM
GregMan said…

Putin couldn’t find a cat like Blofeld’s, so at the last minute he had to make do with what was at hand.
4:07 PM
GregMan said…

“And I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George.”
4:10 PM
Chronos the Wonder Pig said…

Putin discovers how “Puddles” got his nickname
6:32 PM
Chronos the Wonder Pig said…

Putin meets his date from Match.com
6:33 PM
Jack Reacher said…

“I will name him Chechnya, and keep my hand always at his throat. Bwahahahahahahha! Oh, I slay me.”
7:34 PM
Steve O said…

Putin promises to “love him like a Russian.”
8:01 PM
Steve O said…

Being all out of iPods, Happy Meal toys, and DVD’s didn’t matter — once the State Department came up with exactly the right idea.
8:03 PM
dadoctah said…

“As the Christmas marketing season ramps up, we’re all set to kick us some Zhu Zhu pet ass!”
11:28 PM
americanelephant said…

Pooty-poot and poopy too.
12:12 AM
Adriane said…

And here I always thought Beethoven was German …
12:43 AM
Carpe Phlogiston said…

My vote for Instant Threadwinner – GregMan’s… “And I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George.”

-OR-

Dog’s Thawtbubble: Okay, I’m looking into his eyes and don’t get a sense he has a soul. Could it be that Bush totally confused the chill that ran down his spine with the “tingle” wimps get around alphas?

-OR-

Dear Humane Society Forum – As a puppy, I never thought I’d be writing to you about my sex adventures, but…

-OR-

Putin Thawtbubbleski: Grow up qvickly, Igor. I have a vodka kegger that vill be like a beautiful albatross around your neck.
1:13 PM
Passionate Conservative said…

Yeltsin, reincarnated.
4:02 PM
JohnS1959 said…

“Alright America, sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation treaty or the puppy gets it”, threatened Mr. Putin.
8:38 PM
JohnS1959 said…

“Well clearly Mr. Putin’s dog, Stoli, has no trouble identifying the alpha male leader of the pack”, related Cesar the Dog Whisperer. “My work is done here. Now I’m off to Washington DC to face the biggest challenge of my career”.
8:44 PM
Anonymous said…

Dog thought bubble:
“I smell a big fat commie rat.”

Vinney
8:26 AM

Categories
Commentary Journal Photo I Took

Gratuitous Cute Dog Pictorial

Every year I vow to write more about the garden, and every year I don’t.  It’s my way of giving you something to look forward to for next year.  Right now, we’re in the summer doldrums–we have lots of spring and early summer blooms, but not a lot that is new right now.  Most of it is the deer food mentioned above: lilies, hosta, jeruselem artichokes, that sort of thing. Last night, my wife was awakened by the sound of deer munching on lily stalks below her window.  It was that loud.  I had to shuffle down to the porch and let out the dog, who has learned to run the deer to the edge of the property then stand down–it’s kind of an awesome thing.  If I point, shake my arm, and say “go get em, baby” she’ll bolt from corner to corner of the yard, looking for deer in all the usual places, without losing herself in the chase.  Some dogs will run deer until the deer drop from exhaustion–mine just wants them gone.
Summer 2010_090

 

Essi’s full name is Esmeralda, which is what happens when you let toddlers name a perfectly innocent puppie. She is a Scorpio who likes long walks in the woods, fresh baby rabbits, belly rubs and roadkill.  She’s a purely bred Great American Kennel Mutt and, like Benji, a dog of all seasons.  Her N.A. name is Deer Runner, because she’ll chase the whitetail deer to the edge of the property and stop.  Her rapper name is E-Doggie Dawg, and her slept-on-the-furniture-while-we-were-out name is D-3, which is short for Damn Dirty Dog–you know, like in Planet of the Apes.  Except she’s a dog, not an ape.
004Last fall, Essi nearly died of a bowel obstruction–she’s eaten three silicone muffin cups nearly a year before and carried them around in her stomach before they finally lodged in her intestine.  I’d always vowed I wouldn’t be one of those people who spend lots of money on sick animals, but–nearly a thousand dollars and one major surgery later she’s back for her twelfth year with us.
039

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Funny and/or Strange

Bad Books #5

Because I’m a devilish sod, I’ve collected A LOT of naughty books cover illustrations which I’ll start sharing daily a minute before midnight, “wordpress time.” (which isn’t the time where I live or, I suspect, anywhere but on the wordpress servers, but who cares.

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Uncategorized

Friday Morning Rock n Roll Idols: Poi Dog Pondering (video link repaired)

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Poi Dog Pondering–I can’t think of a better band to throw out here as we enjoy the first truly warm days of spring.

One of the most enjoyable shows I ever saw was in the old Graffiti Lounge in michelle_shocked_cd_cover_high_2500Pittsburgh, late Spring 1990, for a triple bill featuring John Wesley Harding, Poi Dog Pondering, and the mercurial Michele Shocked.  The show started off on a great note–I’d picked up two comp tickets from the now-legendary progressive rock radio station WXXP.  You can’t beat a free show.

I remember nothing about Harding, and Shocked provided a solid if unspectacular show–though I liked her at the time, the album she was touring to promote, 1989’s “Captain Swing” wasn’t a favorite.

The real highlight of the evening turned out to be the quirky Texas-Hawaiian Folk-Pop-Rock-Hippie fusion collective Poi Dog Pondering, who had launched out of Austin Texas on the strength of a fun little song called “Living With The Dreaming Body” and landed in Pittsburgh with, it seemed, about two dozen members–including a flutist, a mandolin player, a fiddler, and a bunch of hippie-looking folks  banging on drums and looking like they’d been picked up at the youth hostel and added to band the night before.  Whatever was going on, Poi Dog brought the goods, and I was hooked.  Hard to believe it was 24 years ago.

Bonus: my favorite PDP song, recorded with Abra Moore in a motel bathroom (read the description on the youtube page)

 

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Commentary Funny and/or Strange Uncategorized

Home Security

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I actually have this one posted on my garden:

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