Categories
Commentary

D.A.H.O.F: Jamie Gilt

D U M B – A S S   H A L L   OF   F A M E   N O M I N A T I O N

I shouldn’t need an excuse to circle back around to my poor, mistreated, attention-starved blog–or the millions, thousands, hundreds, dozens of eager readers who breathlessly await my oracular musings. Nevertheless, when life gives you lemons…

Okay, so no lemons. Instead, we got Jamie Gilt, the outspoken Florida horse mommy who loves her guns. A profuse poster of pro-firearm propaganda and fetishist rhetoric, who had reportedly been bragging of late about her 4-year-old son’s proficiency at the shooting range, Ms. Gilt recently threw this bit of wisdom up on the internet:
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Silly rabbit. A few days ago, this upright, outspoken, patriotic (these colors don’t run, dammit!) saw her worst feats come to light when she was brutally gunned down…by said 4-year-old, who capped her from the backseat of their moving vehicle while she was driving and he was playing with her .45 automatic in the back seat.

Doh! Ms. Gilt gets automatic acceptance into the Dumb Ass Hall of Fame.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3484064/Pro-gun-poster-girl-shot-four-year-old-son-driving-Florida-boy-pistol-seat-truck.html

Gun Rights Advocate Jamie Gilt Shot by Child?

http://www.jacksonville.com/news/20160817/jamie-gilt-gun-advocate-shot-by-her-4-year-old-son-remains-infamous-six-months-later

Categories
Commentary

Ferguson: When The Pot Inevitably Boils Over, We’re All Going to Burn

Excessive-force

http://aattp.org/op-ed-seven-simple-steps-to-end-police-brutality-and-restore-justice-to-america/

Not being privy to the facts, I can’t begin to comment on the specific events in Ferguson, beyond that it fails the “stink test” though not as badly as the do many other police-related acts of violence.  The sad truth is that Ferguson, as painful as it has been to so many, is just part of a chain of incidents, and the unrest occurring there represents a continuity of events, and frustrations, that has been going on almost forever.  It is only going to get worse, because each time an officer of the law is acquitted other officers become less fearful resting and potentially constructive article which I agree with whole-heartedly. I would, however, add a few items that, I think, would help to alleviate the sense of powerlessness, not to mention the scent of obfuscation and and concealment that hangs over so many incidents of police violence.

1.) In the face of an incident, police officers should be treated as would any citizen.  If I kill a man in the street, I am almost certain to be arrested, processed, and confined pending a hearing.  It is likely I will be perp-walked before cameras, my name and background released to the press.  When a police officer kills a man in the street (or commits any criminal act either in public or private) the police department involved generally makes efforts to shroud the officer’s identity, and months–sometimes years–can go by before the investigation, and any charges, are addressed and during that time the officer may continue to serve, or at worst incur a reduction in duties.  It is little wonder that citizens suspect collusion between police perpetrators, district attorneys.  A potential crime is a potential crime.  Giving police privacy that civilians don’t enjoy is a luxury we, as a nation, can no longer afford.

Categories
Photo I Like Uncategorized

Kitten Gun

Just because I think Joe The Plumber is a tool doesn’t mean that I embrace strict gun control.  Some guns are magnificently AWESOME.

kitten-gun
found on drunktiki.com

 

Categories
Journal Short/Micro/Flash Fiction

Untouchable Me

untouchables5

From a dream I had…I’m with some cool government white-hat cats in this purple old Ford panel van, something out of The Waltons via American Graffitti with slick modern Goodyears and the lush power rumble of a primo big block Chevy engine under the hood.  The Feds are dressed to the nines: sharp suits and fedoras, vests, pointed shoes, but not effete: we’re talking button sleeves and half windsors, none of that Kevin Costner Armani crap–we’re going full bore Robert Stack.

The_UntouchablesWe are moving in on the bad guys, who we know are staked out in a reservoir dog warehouse down a narrow alley, mostly shaded but for the weak glow of a single street light.  I’m in the back.  A man who would be Elliot Ness is driving with a beautiful woman from a soap opera riding shotgun–and Elliot, he drives that gaudy machine right down the alley and parks it so close to a black limo we’ve been shadowing, I say “They’ll spot this car in a heartbeat, it will stand out too much.”

And Elliot says, “we’re counting on it.”

Then, as soon as he said it, a wedge of gangsters appears from a building, moving towards us.

“Just stay cool kid, this is all part of the show.”

So it’s a setup, a sting.  Elliot and the soap opera shotgun queen step out to greet the gangsters–but I don’t know the plan.  Stay cool, kid, she stage whispers.

I sit there, arms crossed, try to look tough but ready for action–the body guard waiting in the car as a sign of good faith to the gangsters.  I hear Elliot saying, “Just to show you my respect, Louie, I left my muscle in the car.”  Gangster eyes peer in through the windows at me, the enemy muscle.  I nod, try to make like a volcano: cool on the outside, ready to blow.

It is all about good will, and the gangsters ask me out of the car–they need to check me for weapons. I’m unarmed.  They want to x-ray the packages.

Packages?

There are packages in the back of the panel van, three of them.  I should know which to give them but I don’t.

And then the x-ray.

And then they find the gun….

Categories
Commentary Funny and/or Strange

Bonnie and Clyde….

bcvd_large

Okay, I’m in.

Categories
Funny and/or Strange

Cormac McCarthy’s Ex-wife Busted After Allegedly Pulling Gun From Vagina During Alien Argument

sexy-alien-gun
UPDATE 9/21/2014: I was contacted recently by Ms. McCarthy, who is eager to tell her side of this obviously absurd story.  Please read her comment below.  Not only is is particularly relevant at this time when domestic violence is (sadly, and probably all too briefly) at the forefront of our collective psyche. 

Cormac McCarthy’s ex-wife busted after pulling gun from vagina during alien argument 

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/cormac-mccarthy-ex-wife-busted-bizarre-play-gun-article-1.1570196#ixzz2pvl4lpCz
And more:  http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/01/cormac-mccarthys-ex-wife-and-the-vagina-holster.html

So, within the past few days I’ve posted about Bigfoot, Pixies, and vagina-gun wielding alien believers. Still, follow the links–this story is priceless.