Balled of Cliven Bundy by Stephen Colbert




Here’s Fox News’ Big Hero: CIiven Bundy, Racist

Cliven Bundy says he doesn’t believe in the existence of the United States–but really likes “waving this big colorful sheet” around.

So last week I had myself a little rant about pseudo-patriot right-wing-wacko-anarchical seditious super-moocher Cliven Bundy, who has been stealing from you, from me, and from every other American tax payer for the past two decades–specifically, his gun-toting refusal to “acknowledge the existence of the United States” while simultaneously wrapping himself in the flag.

I made it pretty clear that I don’t like this guy, or what he stands for, which is ultimately selfish greed.  He was right up Fox News’ alley, however, as the Faux network fell all over itself to frame this guy as a patriotic little guy standing alone against the mighty federal machine–and, along with his heavily armed militia friends–won.  Fox even went so far as to dredge up the specter of President Obama raising a leftist citizen militia to supposedly further trample the rights of good old god-fearing conspiracy nuts everywhere.

I just found this Jon Stewart video that says most of what I want to say, but better:

Bundy Army
Bundy complains about BLM “army” of armed thugs. Ah, right….

Not every conservative pundit has been asshat in a ten-gallon hat.  Joe Scarborough seemed to have some perspective on the hysteria, and had the courage to denounce Bundy and the caterwauling ninnies who support him.

It’s been with some bemusement, over the past few days, to watch the Bundy idolatry spiral downward into a smoking, flaming wreck, and the native Nevada scofflaw has put his Fox-powered national soapbox to good use spouting anti-government nonsense (and seriously, Fox, this shit is dangerously reminiscent of Tim McVeigh and his murderous cohorts, you really hate President Obama  so much that you’re embracing that camp?) and–who didn’t see this coming?–an overtly racist agenda. 

“I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro,” he said. Mr. Bundy recalled driving past a public-housing project in North Las Vegas, “and in front of that government house the door was usually open and the older people and the kids — and there is always at least a half a dozen people sitting on the porch — they didn’t have nothing to do. They didn’t have nothing for their kids to do. They didn’t have nothing for their young girls to do.

“And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do?” he asked. “They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”

–Cliven Bundy, self-styled Anti-American Patriot, Militant Scofflaw and Welfare Rancher

Yep, a racist.  Who’d have thought?  On top of that, it turns out Bundy has been lying about–or grossly exaggerating–his “ancestral claims” by touting a supposed family history on his land since the 1870’s, which the records don’t support.  So, a racist AND a liar.

And now the rats are starting to jump ship.

Splash!  Now they’re fighting over the lifejackets.  Greta Van Sustern printed a quick reversal, after feting both Bundy and his wife on her show–and took the cowardly step of immediately closing comments on her blog so no one could call her out on her hypocrisy.

I’m not the only one who notices.  Not even close.

And I’ll leave you with this, even though I hate’s flash-crazy pop-up crazy site: