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Is It Acceptable To Be An Angry White Guy…

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When what I’m angry about is all the other angry white guys who also happen to be stupid, gullible, rage-addled, entitled douchebags?

Honestly, I’d made a conscious vow to lay low over the summer and on into November, partly to continue work on the novel that won’t seem to end, partly to enjoy more time with my family and friends, but mostly to alleviate the caustic, cumulative effects of a long and bitter political season.

I couldn’t do it. I went to my doctor the other day and discovered exceedingly high–dangerously high–levels of bile in my system, as well as a large amount of detritus lodged in my craw. Both, I was warned, can be life-threatening if not addressed swiftly. Luckily for me, both conditions can be mitigated (there is no total cure, one can only address the symptoms) through incision and drainage, releasing pressure and toxins as one would lance a boil.

Consider much of what’s to come a direct result of that process. And be warned. I’ve sat quietly through months of Trump, and the resulting immune response has left me brimming with rancorous puss (what? the boil isn’t the metaphor you would have chosen to carry forward?) to drain onto the page.

So, I guess I’m back early. I know a few of you won’t be rejoicing, but tough. Read at your own peril.

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Doh! After Shooting, NRA Tweets About Kids Having Fun With Guns

A 9-Year-Old at a Shooting Range, a Spraying Uzi and Outrage

These guys are just masters of tact and timing. I should probably save this for use as a D.A.H.O.F. post, but….  Not that these corporate shills won’t earn a nomination some other way.

In Wake of Arizona Uzi Killing, NRA Tweets About Kids Having Fun With Guns

NRA tweet

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1 In 4 Americans Think Sun Rotates Around Earth

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I’m posting this link out of shame and disgust. Ugh!  I guess it’s what creationism gets us.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/02/14/277058739/1-in-4-americans-think-the-sun-goes-around-the-earth-survey-says

No, they’re not exaggerating.  Or making it up as part of some “socialistic” plot.

And adding these as a public service:

earthorbitsun

o-EARTH-ORBITS-SUN-facebook

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Jim Crow, Thy Middle Name Is Kansas

I’ve been through Kansas a few times–it doesn’t seem like a bad place: Kansas-Sunflowerslots of sunflowers to go with the wheat, though it’s awfully flat, which puts that whole tornado alley/Wizard of Oz thing is perspective.  One of my very favorite people loved Kansas, and while he lived there only briefly I’ll forever attach his affection to the place.  My wife and I even spent an absolutely wonderful night camping under the stars at Cedar Bluff State Park, about a thousand years ago.  I’ve followed some of the weirder stuff to come out of that state in the years since, specifically the science vs. bible new earth foolishness, but I have to admit I did little more than snicker a little and write it off to old-fashioned stubbornness.

flatHow backwards could they be?  After all, Kansas was a fertile field for abolitionists during the civil war, and some of the fiercest fighting during the war took place in Kansas and Missouri, as militias, guerrillas, and old school n’er do wells on both sides fought tooth and nail over Kansas and it’s status as a free state. Indeed, the term Jayhawker, which has become synonymous with “Kansan” originally referenced the fierce anti-slavery John_Brown_Paintingirregulars who fought against the primarily Missouri-based pro-slavery “Border Ruffians.”  This is a state which the legendary John Brown, one of America’s greatest sons, called home, and where his image–and the freedom he has come to represent–is immortalized on the very structure of the Kansas Capital building.

It befuddles me to no end that the state of Kansas would gleefully reject and spit upon that legacy by embracing a set of laws that would effectively establish homosexuals as second class citizens, making it legal for Kansas businesses or individuals to treat them as Black Americans were treated in the south during the days of Jim Crow.  Indeed, the Kansas law may be worse, as it also limits–and in many cases eliminates–the options for redress against such open bigotry.

The law, Kansas Bill 2453, not only carries us backwards a hundred years, but it allows bigots to act on their suspicions, not just facts. Should a business owner decide that I might be gay, he can throw me out on my ear–or you.  Or your parents.  Your children.  Anything goes in a bill that is so purposefully vague that it can be twisted to validate just about any bigotry short of physical violence.

The entire movement is so ludicrous–the vast majority of white Christian Americans are being represented as being religiously oppressed by the relatively small number of homosexuals.  Imagine a room full of 100 people, 96 of whom start beating the shit out of the other 4 percent.  Now, imagine that 96 percent claiming that they are oppressed by the 4 percent who are their victims.

Ironically, folks my age and older will remember when being on the side of “the Russians” was a terrible thing to be constantly summoned by conservatives. Well, where are the Kansan bigots finding their strongest support right now?  You guessed it: Russia.  Way to go, comrades.

On the other hand, Kansas is home to the Westboro Baptist Church–a weird-ass hate-cult that tortures the bible to justify their message of 56363689venomous, violent animosity towards homosexuals and–oddly enough– American war dead.  Yes, Westboro has reserved a place in what Shepherd Book called “that special part of hell”, but who would have thought that the Republicans of the Kansas House of Representatives would go ahead and establish a place for themselves in the same zip code.

Now, I’m reading that it’s not quite a done deal.  The Kansas House got a free one–nobody really expected that these crackpots would actually go out and make themselves look like such a band of backwardsassed buffoons, so they didn’t hear a lot of protesting before the vote–but since then the sky has sort of opened up, raining down a fierce storm of dissent and putting the fear God (more irony) into the Kansas Senate, who are scrambling for ways to be rational and vote against this debacle without alienating the extreme right-wing teat upon which so many of them feed.

This doesn’t change the fact that this happened, or that these yahoos managed to push this through the house with a convincing margin of success.  Rational people aren’t going to forget this, nor will the growing reputation of Kansas at a laughingstock diminish any time soon.  It’s my hope, as it always is when the crazy pull off a coup, is that the resulting backlash will propel the mainstream further towards the future, but as the maxim goes: only time will tell.  It’s quite possible, from what we’ve seen this far, that Kansas will collapse in on itself so completely, so irrevocably, that it condenses into a super-dense black hole no bigger than a pea.

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More Snow Headed To Georgia–Tourism Idea

Not to put too fine a point on it, but another winter storm is casting it’s Winter Weather Atlanta.JPEG-05108frosty eye on Atlanta as it blusters it’s way across the south, promising as much as .75 of an inch of snow and a mere 40F as a high temperature–time to run for the grocery store and stock up on toilet paper, bread, and milk. (that’s an old Pittsburgh joke you probably won’t get, but so what….)

snowmiserIt occurs to me that the city could make a small fortune in tourism revenue sponsoring “flash tours” at such times by selling affordable package deals to northerns who would likely pay good money to watch the carnage while savoring the relatively balmy weather.  They already have the infrastructure–the only thing missing is some bleachers down by the highway for when the Snow Miser comes to Southtown, even though it’s in his brother’s clutch.

winter
Hey, Atlanta–this was my freaking weekend. Want to swap?

I guess I feel bad for being a winter bully–especially if (when?) someone dies down there, but it’s hard to take this seriously–probably in the same way that some guy from Death Valley is bemused when we have a “drought,” the rich folks have to stop watering their lawns, and we can only wash our cars on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I truly believe in this plan.  The rare southern businesses to stay open will make a killing, and the municipalities can use the additional revenue to, I don’t know, buy a second snow plow or something.  This makes me wonder what people in Calgary are thinking.  Hell, Minnesota is like this ten months a year–only it’s -40 degrees F, not the balmy 0-10 we’ve been seeing.

I heard God apparently told some guy in Decatur to build a massive 12703_650365338358467_1109895274_nbobsled and fill it with a pair of every creature (starting with Lolo Jones)….

*All kidding aside, as the storm is poised to strike, here’s all the luck and best wishes I can summon to Atlanta and the rest of the South. 

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Free Speech For Homophobic Celebrities

It’s important that the Duck Dynasty actors get to spout their hatespeech–because the one thing that Conservatives, especially REDNECK conservatives, give a big damn shit about is the free speech of celebrities–how quickly we forget the cd smashing rallys, the boycotts, the endless commentaries, and the very real DEATH THREATS that followed Nathalie Maines expressing her disapproval of George Bush…and she was right.

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