Categories
Funny and/or Strange

Scratch and Sniff…

A while ago, I was reading through a blog post over at Arkenaten’s A Tale Unfolds that culminated with some nice photos, including one of a man on the street selling fish, and it ignited in me a memory of an old idea I’d get while reading the rare “scratch and sniff” book to my children.

Those smells were always so pleasant, in a sort of bathroom cleanser pine and floral chemical way, and I often entertained the idea of making a scratch and sniff book that, from the outside, looked traditional but was actually a parody not really meant for kids. Think of what was done with the epic “Go The Fuck To Sleep” retort to “Goodnight Moon.”

nolte01
In the film adaptation, the role of Lester will played by Nick Nolte.

Ours could be an a adventure story of a hero named Lester exploring “the wharf” at night and relishing all his adventures. Think about it …Lester goes to the bar and eats deviled eggs.  Lester makes the moves on a transvestite hooker who ate two tins of anchovies and garlic bread for dinner. Lester gets shitfaced and pukes in the alley. Lester stumbles and falls into a corner where the homeless people piss…inevitably, Lester would get rolled by a couple of junkies and left for dead, stumble out of the alley in the early morning and get arrested and beat to hell while in custody by a couple of bored cops, but I’m not sure what that would smell like, yet.

Whatever, it would kill.

Steal this idea and I’ll sue, either before or after I kick your ass.  Smells the same either way.