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The Saturday Snow White Variations: She’s Baaaaaack

6a00e54efdf11288330192aa923604970dI’m surprised there’s no real discussion about Snow White’s magical revival–where exactly was the magic?  It’s implied that she’s been put “under a spell” but the weapon wasn’t a “magic apple” but a “poison apple.’  The Dwarfs–Sleepy, Grouchy, Hungry, Horny, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur and Thorin Oakenshield–clearly thought she was dead, or they wouldn’t have laid her 73e5f40fc8da6e0ca1ec52cac5bf384fout in that nifty glass coffin that keeps all the forest creatures from gnawing on her surprisingly supple flesh–but doesn’t keep Young Prince Necrophile from snagging a little sugar from her moldering corpse.  Gives you something to think about, eh?

Forgetting that unfortunate perversion theme, we must wonder: the magic was in the kiss?  What am I forgetting?  Why does she wake up?  Why did she, um, remain so, er, fresh. Doesn’t really matter, because the point is–and we’re all in agreement, yes?–that she was dead.  And then, not so much.  A man has to wonder: is “not dead” always the same as alive, or….

Maybe she was exposed to a huge dose of Gamma Rays at the exact time she bit into the apple?

042599b95ee90f4959b873ebad8f0083

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know, it’s unlikely–but a guy can hope, right?  The alternative is just too disturbing to ponder.

8c0e4e4d8b225a4bb608909f268c6b4a

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m not talking about a mere deal with the devil, although that would do.

6nEdsen
http://imgur.com/gallery/6nEdsen

 

 

 

 

But something more…unnatural.

zombie_snow_white_by_astariajayne-d5iklft
http://astariajayne.deviantart.com/art/Zombie-Snow-White-333524873
zombie-snow-white-header
http://imgur.com/gallery/6nEdsen
wondercon-cosplay-zombie-snow-white
http://hegeekshegeek.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/snow-white-cosplay/

snow_white_zombie_by_g_10gian82-d5lobzh 123347_zombie_snow_white a3efb6eb71d35bb0f88fe7b844547f2f

 

 

 

 

 

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Commentary

Remember The Poison Chemicals Dumped in West Virginia?

Remember the company that poisoned the drinking water of hundreds of thousands of West Virginians?  Maybe you do, maybe you don’t–at the time, the media was a lot more focused on Justin Beiber’s throwing eggs at his neighbors’ house than at a clusterfuck some have called the worst man-made natural disaster in the past hundred years.  But it did happen:

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/09/us/west-virginia-contaminated-water/

And now that company has begun bankruptcy proceedings that may ultimately allow them to emerge on the other side unscathed–and their victims uncompensated.  Remember that?

http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2014/01/22/3182911/freedom-industries-bankruptcy-bad-news/

Their chemicals are at my house now.  Really.  I wish I was joking; I really do.

http://triblive.com/news/armstrong/5548605-74/coal-chemical-rosebud

But I’m not.

The news came out today that Freedom Industries has moved the remaining material to a facility about ten minutes from my house–not in the watershed that provides my drinking water, thank the gods, but I wouldn’t be happy if my community pulled it’s water from the Crooked Creek-Kiskiminetas-Allegheny River watershed.  Better be safe and put a few gallons up on the shelf, folks.

Freedom–that operates locally as Rosebud Mining (a proudly non-Union mine)–brought that crap here after regulators nixed some of their other facilities for being just as dangerous as the run-down, outdated set-up that spilled into the river upstream from Charleston, WV.  Now that stuff is upriver from a million Westsylvanians.

http://triblive.com/news/adminpage/5576127-74/armstrong-casey-chemical

Nice.

And of course we can trust them to take care of things, right?  To not be sneaky slimeballs who, if an accident should happen, will stand up and do their duty to take responsibility.  Ah, yeh–sure.  Whatever.

http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2014/02/07/3264951/freedom-conflict/

Sigh.