Commentary Funny and/or Strange

Georgia Adds Swastika, Middle Finger To State Flag

Here’s a topical chestnut from the archives of The Onion.  South Carolina, Georgia… at this point, I’m read to skewer the whole lot from Virginia to Texas.

“Georgia Adds Swastika, Middle Finger To State Flag”

Commentary Journal Quote

War Is Cruelty, And You Cannot Refine It

Excuse me a moment while I alienate all the southerners reading this blog….


This is General William Tecumseh Sherman on scenic horse ride through Georgia–I got in a bit of a kerfluffle with a southern stranger on Pinterest last year after I 86c237077812f258c8a367c7e5c7f7depinned the image to the right on the photo saving site, along with a favorite Sherman quote, one I find continually compelling, particularly in light of the penchant for many passionate southerners to look back on the history of the time through the rose tinted glasses of “northern aggression” and all that revisionist bullshit.  If nothing else Sherman reminds us that the South started the war.

“You cannot qualify war in harsher terms than I will. War is cruelty, and you cannot refine it; and those who brought war into our country deserve all the curses and maledictions a people can pour out. I know I had no hand in making this war, and I know I will make more sacrifices to-day than any of you to secure peace.”

I have no love of the man, whose reasoned barbarism in the civil war was surpassed by his cruelty in the “Indian Wars” that followed–but I found the woman attacking me to be intolerable.

Linda Ricker • 39 weeks ago

“If you had ANY idea whatsoever of what he and his men did to many southern families and their children, you would NOT admire this man at all! He and his men were nothing shy of satan himself! He and his men raped women while their husbands were off fighting. They raped and molested the children while they made the mothers watch. They stole our things and shipped them up North via railways and rivers and the ocean. War is horrible enough, but he and his men made it HELL!”

Junk Chuck • 39 weeks ago

“…because slavery wasn’t cruel? Approximately 10 million captive slaves were killed in bondage in North America, another 1.2-2 million died en route, and as many as 6 million died as an indirect result of the slave trade in Africa. I contend that the numbers of enslaved families were far greater, and the crimes perpetrated upon them far more heinous than the experience of the average southern family. I understand that southern history books teach differently, but Master raped and molested far more efficiently, and far frequently, than did the soldiers in Sherman’s armies. I’m sorry your things were stolen and shipped north–maybe your ancestors shouldn’t have stolen people’s children and sold them. I never see that goddamned rebel flag, the emblem of hate and murder and greed and racism (not a signet of some misguided idea of idyllic, romanticized “southern pride”) that I don’t feel sick to my stomach. The glorious south perpetrated feudalistic genocide and got what was coming to them.”

$(KGrHqFHJEQFC1Y23KpSBQ3ceq6Do!~~60_1The glorification of southern slave culture is something that piques my ire with a singular, venomous sting.  A bunch of Nazis get together to celebrate old times, and we’re convening international tribunals, but we’re perfectly fine with these “rebel” yahoos?  I’m posting this after spending half an hour on the highway recently behind a diesel 4×4 riding crazy huge rims and bearing the following bumper stickers. (These are the the same images, though not on the vehicle in question–I found them readily enough on the internet.)

 obamidt-300x225dontrenigin2012Now, what I find so–I guess “amusing” isn’t the word, maybe “ironic” or humorously contradictory, is this connection between self-styled conservatives and the iconography of southern rebellion.  The rebel flag is, at it’s basest, a symbol of contempt for America and American ideals, and while our constitution thankfully protects the rights of rednecks and idiots to spit on and disdain those ideals, it could be argued that embracing the confederate flag–the flag of a nation that is NOT the USA I might add–is, at best, an act of anti-patriotism.  Isn’t that just the kind of thing about which conservatives are so often foaming at the mouth?  Remember “Freedom fries?”  Lapel pins?  Just recently President Obama was criticized for carrying a cup of coffee in one hand and saluting the Marine guard as he stepped from his helicopter as being insufficiently patriotic.

321dog4296 AP05042204298 bush_barney_salute finger

Opps!  Wrong photos.

Yeh, I couldn’t resist that, even though it dilutes and distracts from my argument.  What I’d like to see, next time Obama steps off the chopper, is him dramatically throwing his styrofoam cup to the ground, then fervently salute the Marines before grabbing them on the shoulders and kissing them, one after the other, euro-style, first on one cheek then the other.  Of course, he’d then not only have all the usual trolls riding him, but the Sierra Club would be all over his ass for the litter.

MJZ598The point is this: how can people be so damned touchy about patriotism at one moment, then turn around and…well, what am I saying?  We’re humans, after all, wreathed in complexity and contradiction, glorious reminders of the…no, not that, either–because it’s all a perfect plan, right?  Aren’t inconsistencies at odds with the intelligent design that’s been fine-tuning us for every one of the 3,000 years or so that there has been life on Earth?  So, no–I don’t get it.

And you thought they didn’t make these!

I learned not so long ago that “you’re either for us or against us.” I can deal with that.  I can get behind that.  My earliest relatives arrived here in the late seventeenth and early eighteenth century from England, Scotland, and Alsace, and as far as I know none of them ever looked back. I certainly don’t fly an Alsatian flag on my lawn, or stick one on the bumper of my ILUV (impractically large utility vehicle).  Of course, given the proud martial history of Alsace, I’m not sure it would intimidate anyone, but oh, the beer….

The other thing that occurs to me is that the glorious armies of the Confederate States of America totally and unequivocally got their asses handed to them on a plate…and yes, perhaps they didn’t run, but only because they were left to stumble home shoeless, starving, bloody and broken.  Indeed, the fact that southern cultures exists at all is owed to the decision, made by the Northern leadership, to try to repair the nation rather than treat the south as, perhaps, it should have been treated: as the hostile, former homeland of a conquered and bitter enemy–like the way Israel treats Palestine. I mean, if you’re not going to be grateful….


Just remember, this juxtoposition is inherently flawed.  The two flags, and two mindsets, are incompatible.  One cannot have it both ways–the two are mutally exclusive.  Or, as a not all that wise woman liked to say, “America, love it or leave it.”


Malaysia Jet Downed, Invasion of Gaza…


I spent much of the day outdoors yesterday.  The weather was glorious, as it as been for the past several days: puffy white popcorn clouds on a field of brilliant blue.  Temperature around 78F, low humidity.  I did not hear about the downing of a Malaysian airliner over Ukraine until late last night–too late to process the tragedy, too late to comment.

I’m rested now, and I’m not going to sweeten my recriminations with “ifs” and words like “suspected” and “alleged.”  What happened seemed pretty clear–Russian separatists in the Ukraine, who have been fighting to secede, led by Russian nationals and armed with the most up to date Russian weapons, gleefully announced yesterday that they had used their missiles to shoot down yet another Ukrainian C-130 military cargo plane.  When reports began to circulate about the downing of a commercial jetliner, those rebels quickly backed down from their story–What? Us? Oh, no–we were just joking.  We didn’t shoot any planes down.  We were just kidding!  Ha Ha.  So sorry, but you know how we are, always trying to sound like we’re badasses; but really, we’re not.  We’re gentle. Like kittens.

These jackasses shot down the wrong plane.  Not that they should have been able to shoot down ANY plane.  I mean: really.  This whole Ukraine thing is like the USA decided to grab part of Ontario by dropping a bunch of weapons and military advisors into the hands of some whacked out Northern Michigan militiamen and giving them a shove towards Sault St. Marie.  And about as transparent.  Russian soldiers and Russian tanks have been running around the war zone, identifying numbers and insignia removed from equipment and uniforms, supporting these so-called rebels–who are nothing more than the descendents of cold war emigres. Their big issue?  “We identify more with Russia so we want to be part of Russia.”

The Kremlin, and Tsar Vladimir Putin, quickly released their own, ludicrous ass-cover: there was a plane shot down, but the Ukrainian forces shot it down because they thought it was Putin’s plane.  Yes, they’re actually claiming this was a horrible end to a nefarious, botched assassination attempt.  Imagine that: Putin thinks it’s all about him.

Except that it is.  The Ukrainian conflict has always been nothing more than a bold, blatant land grab under the illusion of a civil war, conducted on the same terms–and with the same subtlety–as a backyard birthday party magician.  The guy with the wand says there’s nothing up his sleeve, so we don’t look at the bulge in his jacket where he’s clearly hiding something.  We just nod and smile.

Which is what the other major nations of the world have been doing: nodded and smiling, wagging our fingers a little for the press, but otherwise: nothing.  Why? Because Europe needs Russian oil, and Russian trade.  This guy Putin makes George Bush and his “weapons of mass destruction” excuse for invading Iraq look like a diplomatic genius and his masterstroke.

The thing is: this was inevitable.  Look around the world: in Syria, and all over the Middle East. How about the situation in Israel?  Palestinians armed with the equivalent of pea-shooters have grown so desperate, and so self-deluded, that they hurl their tiny missiles at Fortress Israel, and Israel obliges by grinding them into dust.  The Israel situation is a whole lot more complex on the surface–two nations, two religions, two peoples, and one piece of land–both want the other gone, and neither have anywhere else to go. What is the same is that Israel couldn’t press it’s campaign to drive the Palestinians into the sea, if it wasn’t armed to the teeth by western donor nations, particularly the USA.  At the same time, Hamas and it’s sympathizers could not indulge its collective death wish by continually provoking Palestine’s oppressor without it’s own benefactors.  It’s easy to condemn either side, depending upon what day it is, but if we stopped giving them weapons and money to buy more weapons, the shooting would stop quickly enough.

That won’t happen, of course. Governments find it too easy to promote their agendas by dropping guns in the hands of regional ne’er-do-wells and bullies, and the profits to be gained by the oft-mentioned military industrial complexes and their host economies as well as the political war chests (via lobbyists corporate campaign contributions) of decision makers are too great to resist.

This is what proxy warfare gets us: the deaths of innocents. I’d love to think that this might make the leaders of powerful nations (like mine) to think twice before showering regional despots, thuggish, penny-ante militiamen and self-styled revolutionaries and using them like pawns for their own political ends.This one should end up firmly in Putin’s lap, but he’s not the only one guilty. The US, UK, China, France, etc have all done it. My thoughts are with the bereaved, and with Malaysia, but this is a tragedy for all of us and a reminder of just how far from civilized we really are.

*I’ll be adding source links later today….