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Christmas Tunesday video

Danielle LoPresti: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Because it’s all about the kids when it comes down to it, right? One of my favorite covers of a Christmas classic.

 

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Funny and/or Strange halloween Uncategorized

Happy Halloween

This video has 51,000,000 views on Facebook and 250,000 views on Youtube, but I know you want to see it again. Escpecially today.

Wolfshäger Hexenbrut Walpurgis Wolfshagen im Harz

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Photo I Like

The Six O’Clock Scrounger: Cheesy

When I’m wasting time, chewing on electronic distractions like a cow chews cud, I turn pack rat. Not that it is a drastically distant fall. The Force may run strong in some families–all I got was this encysted hoarder thing in my belly. Its not cancerous yet, but I need to keep an eye on it. With the interwebs, even my modicum of restraint is unnecessary. I have 2 terabytes of closet space for all the crap I scrounge. At one point, before some serious deleting, there were 25,000 bookmarks on one of my browsers. It is time to give some of this crap away. So here, take it–not all of these posts will be so cheesy, but it is a Junk give-away, so the bar is low.
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Commentary

Loonette Etcetera

If you have kids of a certain age, you’re probably familiar with things like Barney, Teletubbies, Caillou, Arthur, and some of the other PBS children’s staples from the early part of this century. The kids were always ambivalent about Barney, Teletubbies creeped all of us out (if you haven’t seen the Joy Division/Teletubbies mash-up, you should)–and how could they spill that goddamn tubby custard every damn episode? I sort of wished Caillou lived in the neighborhood, just to hope someday when the kids grew up my daughter could kick his sniveling, candied ass, but I like Arthur a lot–and not just because it’s got a lot of western PA references. I remain a big, big Binky fan–but no surprise there, right?
big comfy couch
There is one show, however, that the kids sometimes watched, that we all enjoyed, but which left me feeling vaguely uncomfortable and confused. I’m talking about The Big Comfy Couch–you know, “with Loonette and Molly, a clown and her dolly…?”  Want to know why? It’s no secret, and you already know I’m going to tell you .

At a certain time in each episode, Loonette would tell the time by laying down on this clock carpet on the floor and sort of, sexy clock writhingum, well, gyrate and contort herself into the hours of the day, as they served the plot. It was kind of sexy. I’m not saying that I got aroused, just that I noticed, that I recognized that I noticed, and it made me feel just a little uncomfortable. Okay, it made me feel just a little wrong. It was impossible to tell how old this clown was–and she did have a dolly. Was there something wrong with me? Something dark?

279881You can imagine my relief when I looked at this feature–clicked on a link that led to another link and so on–from Cracked magazine (which has a big web presence, who knew?) titled “If Every Kid’s Show Got a Gritty Live-Action Re-Boot”. They’d had a contest, and among the winners–number 6, in fact–was a fresh, contemporary start for Loonette. I had to smile: it wasn’t just me!

Better still, in searching for the images I used above, I found out that not only does Alyson Court, the actress who played Loonette, have a pretty cool twitter, she’s not all that much younger than me–and she’s actually pretty hot. A lot hot, actually.  So cool and hot–which means that not only am I not a pervert, I’ve got the amazing ability to see through the clownish exterior to the witty, striking, woman beneath the make-up. It’s like BQmAwurCAAIYWaOa super-power, maybe even the hetero equivalent of Gaydar–which, of course, begs the question: why waste it on a broken down old married guy like me?  Nature works in strange, mysterious, and random ways, I guess.

Categories
Funny and/or Strange

Amazon Is Weird…

…or funny. Drunk funny, maybe.  I looked at their site the other day, and something is amiss in their recommendations. The items at the bottom make sense–I’m interested in riding more rail trails, and it seems like an extra way for my wife and I to distract ourselves from our pending empty nest syndrome, so the first book makes sense.  I’m into science fiction,  I’m looking for a new computer, and I do like holiday music–and have other holiday music by those two bands, so that all works.  As for the Christmas Elf costumes, however…what the hell do I interpret from these?  I’ve never bought one, or shopped for one, and even if I did the odds of getting them in my size (XXXL in Orc sizes) are pretty slim.

I guess I’m left to infer that this is some subtle plot for me to buy the afore-mentioned  wife a sexy elf costume, and that she is in a real damn hurry to get one of these outfits…but which one?  I like the barber pole socks on outfits at the edge, but I also like the tall black boots, second from right.

Decisions, decisions…

Do you think this means she’s getting a me a Santa Suit?  Role play doesn’t appeal to me in  broad terms, but Santa and the Sexy Elf?  A guy could do worse

Screenshotb edit

 

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Uncategorized

Random Internet Photo: Debra Paget

Is this one great or what?  Debra Paget–if this was 1958 you’d know who she was without wikipedia or IMDB.
tumblr_lpug0b4bJl1qf6jy9o1_1280And not content with being sexy, ol’ Debra wasn’t shy about a little weirdness. YOu know, like crawling around in a giant’s hand or doing gods know what with a monkey in a diaper. But, I guess a monkey in a diaper is better than a monkey without a diaper, if that monkey happens to be dancing an irish jig on your bosom.

maxresdefaultAnd the Snake Dance?  Well, Shazaam!

Debra-Paget 002_thumb[3]

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halloween

The Great Sexy Halloween Costume Debate 4 of 4

Some final thoughts.  I wanted to weigh in on my own here, sort of a personal summary, while touching base on potential costume choices.

The father in me had no problem coming up with a several costume suggestions which are, in their particular socio-cultural mileau, hot enough to incinerate.  Among them are…

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The man of reason in me just wants to caution you against this….
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And the husband says, “Hey, baby–you could totally pull this off….”
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halloween Uncategorized

The Great Sexy Halloween Costume Debate 3 of 4

So, we’ve heard recrimination, and earnest warnings, but I promised a debate so here is a voice calling out in the name of feminine empowerment….

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Sexy Lumberjack–popular and functional in the Pacific Northwest

This quote is the first thing I stumbled upon, attributed to Cady Heron.

“In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World. Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.” 

I assumed Ms. Heron must be a brilliant, outspoken young feminist, but it turns out  she’s a fictional character played by Lindsay Lohan in the movie, “Mean Girls.”

Opps.

On the upside, Tina Fey wrote that movie, and Tina Fey epitomizes the personality that psychologists and cultural anthropologists typically refer to as “da bomb.” There must be some sort of elemental halloween costume component to that movie, because it is referenced repeatedly in essays on sexy costumes.

Halloween Slut-Shaming PSA: Dress However The Hell You Want

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Sexy Boba Fett. Requires a LOT of confidence.

“Women are constantly bombarded with people telling them how they should and shouldn’t dress, and this Halloween is no different. There’s the “don’t succumb to peer pressure and dress like a slut” mentality versus the “Halloween is the day to be scantily clad” notion. And frankly, it’s f*cking annoying.…”

This article comes from the pseudonymous writer, Kgazm, an editor at Elite and “an advocate for the equal opportunity orgasm. She is the persona of a woman who knows what she wants. Her writing specializes in eviscerating the double standard, one article at a time. ”

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At least there is no double standard. I’d be crucified by the other guys if I dressed sexy.

Right on, Kgazm!  There’s nothing better than a woman who speaks her piece and has no patience for bullshit.  And she’s not alone.  I expected to find a vast array of essays decrying objectification, but that wasn’t the case.  Virtually all of the most popular hits are about women exerting ownership of their own sexiness on this one day, when society allows them to dress sexy without judgement from other women.

Men, it seems, are still not supposed to look.  That’s objectification. That’s right.  A woman could theoretically dress herself up in the trampiest costume she could find, and a man would be sexist if he suggested it was inappropriate as well as sexist if he liked it too much. Halloween is particularly difficult for guys, at least in this regard.  Of course, being a guy totally rocks the other 364 days a year–more pay, gratis membership in the Old Boys Club, strangers–with the exception of a few senile dowagers–don’t call us honey or sweetheart….

It’s all pretty much equitable, right?  And besides, guys like me–good guys–we’ve learned not to gawk, having mastered the key component to progressive maleness, the ability to stealthily sneak a peak.

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halloween video

The Great Sexy Halloween Costume Debate, 2 of 4

In Part 1, we heard from the magnificent Jill Sobule, and it seems to be that she’s not alone in her concerns.  In fact, the problem might be even more widespread than she realized.

Categories
halloween Uncategorized video

The Great Sexy Halloween Costume Debate 1 of 4

My favorite singer/songwriter, Jill Sobule, has been charming us with this little ditty for several autumns now. It’s pretty much become a Halloween standard.