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Commentary

Is It Acceptable To Be An Angry White Guy…

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When what I’m angry about is all the other angry white guys who also happen to be stupid, gullible, rage-addled, entitled douchebags?

Honestly, I’d made a conscious vow to lay low over the summer and on into November, partly to continue work on the novel that won’t seem to end, partly to enjoy more time with my family and friends, but mostly to alleviate the caustic, cumulative effects of a long and bitter political season.

I couldn’t do it. I went to my doctor the other day and discovered exceedingly high–dangerously high–levels of bile in my system, as well as a large amount of detritus lodged in my craw. Both, I was warned, can be life-threatening if not addressed swiftly. Luckily for me, both conditions can be mitigated (there is no total cure, one can only address the symptoms) through incision and drainage, releasing pressure and toxins as one would lance a boil.

Consider much of what’s to come a direct result of that process. And be warned. I’ve sat quietly through months of Trump, and the resulting immune response has left me brimming with rancorous puss (what? the boil isn’t the metaphor you would have chosen to carry forward?) to drain onto the page.

So, I guess I’m back early. I know a few of you won’t be rejoicing, but tough. Read at your own peril.

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Commentary

D.A.H.O.F. Clarke Woodger, Nomen Global Language Institute

Tim Torkildson, a social media specialist and English as a Second Language teacher at Utah’s Nomen Global Language Center wrote what he thought was a typicially innocuous blog entry a few weeks back on the subjects of homophones–which we called homonyms when I was in school.  If you remember elementary school, homophones are those pesky and confusing words that sound the same but mean very different things, like “do” and “due” or “mary,” “merry,” and “marry” just to name a few.  For students learning English, particularly ESL students, homophones pose a significant obstacle to comprehension.

Imagine Torkildson’s surprise, then, to find himself fired by Dumb Ass Hall of Fame Nominee and Nomen owner Clarke Woodger, who asserted, “now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality.”

What?

Cursory research suggests this story is not a hoax, though it sure sounds like one. Although Nomen has removed the “controversial” (giggle, giggle) post, it is still available on Google Cache. See what all the fuss is about

https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:kvBQPW_wGYEJ:nomenglobaltoday.blogspot.com/2014/07/help-with-homophones-1.html

That’s right, Woodger was worried that people would think that his school supported homosexuality.  “I had to look up the word” Woodger said, according to Torkildson’s account on his personal blog, “because I didn’t know what the hell you were talking about. We don’t teach this kind of advanced stuff to our students, and it’s extremely inappropriate. Can you have your desk cleaned out by eleven this morning? I’ll have your check ready.”

As with the best of this kind of stuff, it’s too funny–in a really sad, embarrassing-for-all-us way–to be made up. Sort of just makes me want to say “look at us, world, this is America, aren’t we great?”  Sigh.

http://gawker.com/language-school-blogger-fired-for-writing-about-homopho-1613916147
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/31/blogger-fired-homophones_n_5637873.html
http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/politics/58236366-90/says-english-homophones-language.html.csp

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Quote

Best Damn Quotes: Edward Abbey on Stupidity

“One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bonafide stupidity, nothing beats teamwork”.
-Ed Abbey

 

*I’ve stopped numbering these.  Why bother to keep track?