Tag: wife
-
I dreamt I Failed Bill Clinton
So I had this dream. My wife and I were staying at a cheap hotel–one of those single story set ups with a swimming pool and a courtyard right by the roadside, on the highway leading out to Duck, North Carolina, which was odd because when we’ve gone to the Outer Banks we stayed way…
-
Let Electricity Do It
What do we think we’re talking about here? Something subtle, like an electric blanket and a leaky waterbed–or just the usual, mundane film noir toaster tossed in the bathtub?
-
The Great Carols Conflict
This post appears out of order–it should have hit the net before the last post, but I’m apparently not clever enough to handle complex things like calendars. I trust that you all are smart enough to figure it out, so here you go My wife has a little less Christmas spirit than I do. More…
-
“I Love My Husband, But Here’s Why I Want to Cheat”
I was reading the news from my aggregator, and stumbled upon this article on the Huffington Post, which can always be relied upon to annoy me with petty fluff the perpetuation of which I inevitably encourage by clicking and reading. It’s the old “can’t help staring at a car wreck” thing, except that I don’t…
-
D.A.H.O.F. Spreadsheet Sex Guy
I suppose by now everyone on the internet has heard about the Spreadsheet Guy, which is the downside of having a weekly feature on a blog–some stuff just isn’t going to be timely. Be that as it may, for those of you still unenlightened, Spreadsheet Guy is the hurt and resentful husband who kept a…
-
Fishing Story
Another joke told to me recently–don’t worry, this won’t become a habit. Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip. Two days before the group is to leave Frank’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Frank’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what…
-
My wife is a lazy liar
Originally posted on smithdeville: It’s the last day of school for my lazy, lying wife. She says teachers still have to go to work, but that can’t be right. Teachers only work when the kids are at school. I wish she would come clean and admit she is not really a teacher. School starts around 9:00…
-
Cormac McCarthy’s Ex-wife Busted After Allegedly Pulling Gun From Vagina During Alien Argument
UPDATE 9/21/2014: I was contacted recently by Ms. McCarthy, who is eager to tell her side of this obviously absurd story. Please read her comment below. Not only is is particularly relevant at this time when domestic violence is (sadly, and probably all too briefly) at the forefront of our collective psyche. Cormac McCarthy’s ex-wife…
Old Road Apples 