Categories
Commentary

It’s Snowy Deck & Patio Furniture Season

_99149104_20171210_145801Christmas is over and back in its box in the attic. The jet stream is blowing hard across the Great Lakes and pummeling us with sub-zero wind chills and lake effect snow, arctic clippers and blowing down across Ohio and, this week, that newest hyperbolic wild weather phenomena–the BOMB CYCLONE (oh how the marketing brahs at The Weather Channel must have sighed whilst excavating that gem of a meteorological wonder)–is hitting the mainstream, joining Snowmageddon and Polar Vortex in that rarefied caste of ratings-generating American Idol Weather Terminology.

This is not to undermine the effects of winter storms and the havoc they wreak. Every time it sleets south of Fredericksburg, Virginia dozens of Sons & Daughters of the Confederacy are lost to, or injured in, wholly avoidable automobile accidents. (HINT: Stay home, Beauregard, that white stuff is slippery.) And Boston got spanked by Flash floods that froze (WTF?) entire neighborhoods in place, which is messed up. But it is Boston and, well, karma. Right? Somebody has to bear the burden of the Patriots’ deal with the devil, and it ain’t going to be living Vegan Ken doll QB Tom “Quinoa Salad” Brady.

winter-snow-outdoor-furniture_lwtirzWhat does trouble me about these Twitter-friendly parade of ridiculous terminology is that shade they’re throwing on the time-honored, proven-to-be-accurate method of winter storm appraisal, the good old-fashioned Deck & Patio Furniture photo. For as long as I can remember (admittedly, not as long as I used to be able to remember), the severity of winter storms has been evaluated using observable scientific method, most recently on the internet but for many years before that in the form of winterizing-snowviewer-submitted photos and filler coverage by local news teams. Three generations learned to analyze the critical level of a “weather event” through this observable, utterly reliable data.

How would I know what winter was bringing to my good, decades-long friend Sally, who lives far away in Montana, if she didn’t apprise me of winter conditions north of Yellowstone with timely and evocative imagery of her deck, live and up to date?  That’s right. These are my actual friend’s actual photos of her actual furniture.

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It goes without saying that the level of personal connection forged between me and my friend–or any one of the millions of Americans who annually apprise the world of their on-deck snow conditions (looks like Sally has a nice 7 inch base with a few inches of powder on top)–exceeds anything a few bozos with an old meteorology textbook can manage with their horror-film vocabulary.

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And, final, overlook the community-building that comes from the ubiquity of patio-furniture. I don’t think it is overstatement to say that these photos–and the sense of kinship they evoke–are one of the deep and abiding bonds that hold us together as a nation, and as a people. Stick that in your Bomb Storm and smoke it, why don’t you.

Categories
Christmas Photo I Like

Christmas Tree & Reflection

Having trouble getting into the spirit? I’ve lined up a couple of weeks worth of fun holiday pictures I’ve scrounged and stolen from around the internet over the years, some of which I’ve shared before, some I haven’t.

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Categories
Christmas

Yule Tree

Having trouble getting into the spirit? I’ve lined up a couple of weeks worth of fun holiday pictures I’ve scrounged and stolen from around the internet over the years, some of which I’ve shared before, some I haven’t.

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Categories
Christmas Uncategorized

Festive Holiday Photos: Santa Dash

Festive Holiday Photos From Around the Internet. I’ve got a bunch of ’em I’ve saved to pummel you with this season–largely unsourced, their presence here larcenous but well-intentioned. Enjoy ’em until I get that cease and desist notice.

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Categories
art Christmas Photo I Like

Golden Christmas Tree

I found this on Tumblr back in January.  Nice, eh?

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Categories
Funny and/or Strange video Yinzerism/Pittsburgh Advocacy

Ah, Pittsburgh In The Snow…

Categories
Christmas Photo I Like

War on Christmas: Weep For The Vanquished

For some, there will be no Merry this Christmas…
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Categories
Photo I Took

Eleven Years Ago…

…we bought a particularly nice tree from this unsavory character. I made the mistake of saying, “hey, toss me that tree over there…” Opps.

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Man, does time go fast. The semi-feral six-year old ragamuffin making sure the tree is safely nestled in the bed of our truck is going to college next year…
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Categories
Christmas Photo I Like

Christmas in Syracuse

This image is going viral on Facebook. The tag says it is Syracuse–but it reminds me of Europe–looks really nice, so way to go Syracuse….photo credited to Jody Grenier,
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Categories
Funny and/or Strange Photo I Like

Welcome, Spring

Forgetting for a minute that the forecast calls for cold overnight temps and 1-3 inches of snow, I’d like to officially welcome Spring.  So, “Glad to see you, Spring–sure as hell took you long enough.”  Just don’t be too enthusiastic and in a hurry.  #firstdayofspring

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