Categories
Commentary Funny and/or Strange

Police: Suspect Used Purple Gun

Heroic Serial Killer Dexter Morgan dueled against his evil nemesis The Ice Truck Killer in Jeff Lindsay’s enjoyable novel about a good-guy psychopath, but even Lindsay never imagined a perpetrator as twisted as Uniontown, Pennsylvania’s Ice Cream Truck Robber.
Screenshot_2

The headline, seemingly custom-made for blogging mockery, is priceless:

WOMAN ARRESTED FOR ROBBING UNIONTOWN ICE CREAM TRUCK
Police: Suspect Used Purple Gun

You can’t make this stuff up.  The Purple Gun detail clinches it, but I also admire the sarcastic victim, Franklin Swainy, in the interview.

“It was ‘Gimme the effin’ money, gimme the effin’ money, pick it up, you think I’m playin’ with you? You think this is a game?’ The standard, you know, I saw it on TV and this is my robbery spiel.”

It takes a special kind of cool–an ice cream cool–to make dismissive jokes about the armed assailant who just popped off a couple of rounds into your van and left you bloody. Franklin, you’re the man today.

I mean no disrespect when I say this story makes me want to write, just because it has a vaguely Lebowskian absurdity to it, “Aw, not the van, man.”

Follow the link.  Enjoy the story before WTAE takes it down.

A newspaper covered it, too.

And God Bless America.

Categories
Yinzerism/Pittsburgh Advocacy

Miscellany: Sally Wiggin Day!

CATjrhSXIAEjL70A quick word about Sally Wiggin day.  Sally is the queen of Pittsburgh media, a rabid Steeler fan, and an accomplished journalist adored by all.  I can’t believe that I missed it when the city of Pittsburgh City Council declared last Tuesday as “Sally Wiggin Day.” 

You’re the greatest, Sally.  Marilyn’s got nothing on you. fd15ebb67cdd67c0fb73cc21e1c5baa5