The Twelve Days of Halloween 2014: Day 1 and Counting

At Christmas, our true loves give us stuff every day–gold rings, leaping lords and dancing ladies, drummers drumming.  Putting aside for just one moment the obvious question–how can we afford to feed and clothe all those artistic vassals?–I can’t help wondering why you just get stuff one day for Halloween, and if you’re a grown-up (note that I didn’t say “adult”) you don’t get much at all, only what you can steal from young relative’s candy bag when they’re sleeping.  With that in mind, I”ll be doling out “12 Days of Halloween” gifts from now until the big night–some of it scary, some of it sexy, some silly and some sentimental–which is which, I’ll leave up to interpretation.  As usual, most everything has been ruthlessly appropriated via search engine.